To Heal a Heart
by sunset's last lullaby
Summary: It's been over a year since she died, and Spencer Reid is still in pieces. Can he allow someone new to heal his heart? Or will he remain forever broken? A slightly AU Spencer/OC romance, with lots of the rest of the team. Rating may change in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello all! Welcome to my story, To Heal a Heart! I hope you enjoy it, it's my first foray into Criminal Minds fanfiction! It is slightly AU, mostly in the sense that Emily is still here, because I love her and was so sad when she left! **_

_**I own nothing related to Criminal Minds.**_

Whoever said time heals all wounds was an idiot.

At least that was the conclusion Spencer Reid had come to. He'd had time, over a whole year of it, and what did he have to show for it? A still raw, still bleeding, raggedly torn heart. A lingering urge to fill his veins with the sweet numbing release of Dilaudid. A pathologic fear of slipping in to sleep, for when he slept he was haunted by her shimmering ghost. Yeah, time had really healed him.

His team would tell him he simply needed more time. Easy for them to say, they were socially appropriate, normal human beings. They had lives, loved ones, people who needed them to pull up their socks and get on with their lives. Who did he have? Sure, the team, but they could function fine without him. His mother? She was a schizophrenic, for pete's sake. Even if he believed more time would heal him, what was the point? There was no one for him to pull himself together for. He might as well stay a broken man forever.

"Hey, pretty boy, wake up over there!" the teasing voice of Derek Morgan interrupted Spencer's inner musings. "You might actually start to fall behind on your paperwork."

Spencer grimaced at him, picking up the manila file he was supposed to be cataloguing. No one on the team knew about how shattered his heart still was. Sure, they knew he was still sad, but he did a damn good job at hiding his real emotions. Working with top notch profilers made it very difficult, but he didn't want his team to worry. They had spent enough of their lives worrying over him.

"Reid has never fallen behind before," Emily raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow at Morgan. "It's clinically impossible for him to."

"Never say never, Prentiss," Morgan grinned, his eyes slipping back to his own folder. "Even a genius can mess up."

Yeah, by falling in love with a girl with a crazy stalker, Spencer thought bitterly as Morgan and Emily continue to bicker genially. He threw the folder back on the desk, his thoughts again turning to Maeve and his inner anguish. If only they had figured everything out sooner. If only he'd had the smarts to stay away from her. If only, if only, if only.

His head was starting to hurt from all the turmoil in his brain. He needed coffee.

Leaving Emily and Morgan still arguing (seriously, did they every stop?), Spencer made his way across the bullpen to the coffee machine. He got it all set up to brew a fresh batch, then leaned back against the counter and closed his eyes. He could still picture exactly how she looked on that last fateful day, face tear streaked but still utterly beautiful. Those big green eyes filled with love, love for him…

"Um, excuse me?"

Spencer jumped, his eyes snapping open at the sound of the soft voice coming from somewhere around his left elbow. He jerked around clumsily, his eyes coming to settle on the source of the voice.

For the second time in his life, his brain actually sputtered.

She had to be in her early twenties, the skin on her face fresh and smooth. Long brown hair was twisted off to the side, a few stray tendrils escaping to frame her round face. Big blue (holy shit, so blue!) eyes were looking up at him, full pink lips were pulled in a slightly lopsided smile. His eyes darted down, taking in a short but nicely curved body covered in a demure flowered sundress.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," the girl continued to smile, "but I'm looking for Aaron Hotchner's office, and to be honest, you look like the least intimidating person here, so I decided to ask you."

Spencer blinked rapidly, his brain slowly regaining its focus. "Uh, H-hotch's office?" he managed to stutter out.

"Yes," the girl cocked her head at him, "You, uh, do know who I'm talking about, don't you?"

"Yes, of course I do," Spencer's brain had finally caught up with him. "Its that big one up there on the left," he raised his arm to point out.

"Oh awesome!" another crooked smile flashed brilliantly at him. "Thank you so much, er," she leaned forward, obviously trying to read his ID badge hanging off the pocket of his navy cardigan. Spencer was suddenly overwhelmed with the spicy smell of cinnamon and something slightly more sugary. "Spencer," she leaned back, taking her scent with her. "Thanks Spencer."

And without waiting for a reply, she walked past him and swept up the stairs towards Hotch's office.

Spencer watched her go, blinking confusedly. What on earth had just happened?

"Who was that, Reid?" Morgan suddenly appeared beside him, his eyes also trained on the girl currently being ushered into Hotch's office. "She is damn fine!"

"She just walked up to me and asked where Hotch's office was," Spencer replied stupidly.

"Oooh, maybe Hotch has a new girlfriend!" Morgan offered, turning to Spencer with a grin. "She's gotta be about half his age, what a dog!"

"Hotch is with Beth," Spencer replied, frowning. "I doubt that she is any sort of romantic interest for him."

"Well then, whoever she is, she's one good looking girl," Morgan shrugged, starting to head back towards his desk. "I saw you pretty boy, your eyes nearly jumped out of your sockets when you saw her. About time too, man. It's been over a year, you can look at other girls, you know."

Spencer's heart gave a painful squeeze, and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Truth be told, he had thought the girl was pretty. More than pretty. And that both scared and repulsed him at the same time. How dare he think of other girls, when Maeve was lying cold in the ground? His heart would forever belong to her, she was the only girl he should be thinking was pretty. She was the only girl he could ever love. He was just reacting physiologically, that's all.

And with that, Spencer slipped back into his sorrowful thoughts.

_**Reviews are appreciated! Let me know how I'm doing!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Glad this story is getting some good response! Just a heads up, the chapters will most likely switch back and forth between Spencer's POV and Charlotte's. Again, I own nothing related to Criminal Minds!**_

She was lying when she said she'd gone up to him because he looked the least intimidating. It was the right thing to say though, since "Hey, you are the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes on, I just had to come over and get a closer look" wasn't exactly appropriate. Oh, and the closer look certainly didn't disappoint. She'd always had a thing for the slightly nerdy looking ones.

She closed her eyes, picturing him close up in her mind. Long, lanky body, not too skinny, not too bulky. Adorably messy hair curling just past an angular yet deliciously strong looking jaw. Slightly tanned skin, thin lips, a perfect nose. But the killer was those eyes. Oh, those eyes! Deep pools of brown, endless and mysterious and perfect to drown in. She sighed involuntarily.

"Miss Devereaux, are you alright?"

She jumped at the sound of Aaron Hotchner's voice, cheeks flushing at being caught daydreaming. "Oh yes sir, I'm fine. Just drifted off for a minute." She flashed what she hoped was a winning smile,

Aaron Hotcher gave her a small smile in return. "Good, and please call me Aaron, or Hotch. No need for sirs."

"Yes sir, uh, Aaron," she nodded, sitting up straighter. "You must call me Charlotte, then."

"Alright, Charlotte," Hotch pulled out a file from his desk drawer. "Let's get started then. I must say, I was very impressed with your resume."

Charlotte flushed again. "Thank you. I've been nannying a long time, and I love kids. And usually, they love me," she added jokingly.

"I can see that," Hotch let his eyes flick to the file. "All glowing recommendation from all your past employers. I see no reason not to hire you on a trial basis."

Charlotte smiled excitedly. "Really? Oh thank you, Aaron!"

Hotch let out another tiny smile at her enthusiasm. "Of course. You'll have a 2 week trial period, and if things go well, then I'll hire you on permanently. I'm sure you and Jack will get along great." He stood up and extended his hand to her. "Welcome aboard, Charlotte."

Charlotte shook his hand graciously. "You won't be disappointed! Is it too inappropriate if I try to hug you?"

At that, Hotch let out a little chuckle. "We'll leave the hugging to Jack. Let me walk you out."

Charlotte nodded, letting him lead her out the door. She had the job! She could finally start her new life here in Virginia properly. And the thought of that made her nearly vibrate with happiness.

She was so wrapped up in her joy that she almost missed the party that was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey Hotch, who's this?" a very handsome dark skinned man asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her playfully.

"This is Charlotte," Aaron introduced her, "Not that it's any of your business, but she's going to be Jack's new nanny."

"That's great!" a pretty brunette exclaimed. "I'm Emily, and this is Morgan," she pointed to the man. "I believe you already met Reid."

Charlotte's eyes darkened in confusion until she saw who Emily was pointing out. It was none other than Mr Gorgeous himself, buried in a mound of paper work, seemingly ignoring them as his eyes scanned a page. Reid must be his last name, she thought to herself, her eyes raking over him appreciatively.

"Oi Reid!" Morgan called out, "stop being rude and come over her and properly introduce yourself to the lady!"

Spencer looked up, seemingly startled by the call of his name. He slowly got up and made his way over toward them, hand stuffed adorably in his pockets.

"This is Charlotte," Morgan all but pushed him towards her. "She's going to be Jack's new nanny."

"Hello, Charlotte," Spencer said quietly, one hand coming out of his pocket to give an awkward wave. Charlotte held back a giggle, this guy was too cute.

"Hi Spencer," she waved shyly back, "Thanks again for the directions."

Spencer shrugged, looking down at his shoes. "No problem," he mumbled.

"Alright, that's done, get back to work you guys," Hotch nodded to the three agents. "Charlotte, I'll see you tomorrow at 7. Don't be late."

"I won't." Charlotte tore her gaze away from Spencer to look up at him. "I promise." She smiled at the others. "It was nice to meet you all, I hope to see you around."

Emily and Morgan chorused their approval of this idea, while Spencer continued to stare at his shoes. Charlotte gave them all a last smile before walking to the glass doors leading out. She could feel her heart nearly vibrating out of her chest. She'd gotten a job, met some nice people, and one very, very gorgeous man. She smiled.

Life in Virginia was definitely going to be interesting.

_**Reviews are love 3**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**You readers and reviewers are lovely! Here's the next part!**_

Spencer yawned hugely. It had been another night of tossing and turning, of slipping into an uneasy sleep plagued with dreams of Maeve and blood and heartbreak. He took a sip of his coffee, one hand rubbing his eyes tiredly. There had been something different about last night, he mused. His waking moments between nightmares had contained something that usually wasn't there.

Oh right. Her.

She'd been this constant prickling in the back of his mind all of yesterday, like an itch he just couldn't reach to scratch. At times she would appear randomly in the forefront, a flash of blue eyes, a whiff of cinnamon, and then she'd be gone. And then when he'd finally convinced himself to sleep, she'd shown up in his dreams, a vague notion but there none the less. It terrified him to no end. Who was this Charlotte, worming her way into his brain after one short meeting?

He frowned at his coffee cup, already feeling another headache building. If today was like yesterday, it was going to be a very long day. He sighed, picking up his pace as he walked towards the subway station.

"Hey, Spencer!"

He froze. Shit, was he still dreaming?

Apparently not, because standing 50 feet in front of him, waving happily, was Charlotte.

"Fancy seeing you here!" she bounded towards him, brown hair bouncing wildly behind her. "On your way to work?"

He nodded, his tongue suddenly stuck to the roof of his mouth.

"Brilliant! I just dropped Jack off at school, he's such a doll! Now I'm off to run some errands for Aaron, got to make a good first impression!" she chattered, beaming that 100 megawatt smile up at him. He nodded dumbly again, hoping against hope she would take her doe eyes and her sunny smile and her infuriating cinnamon smell and just _leave._

Charlotte cocked her head at him, clearly wondering why he wasn't making conversation like a normal person. She didn't say anything however, just smiled again and adjusted the strap of her messenger bag across her shoulder.

"Well, I better let you go, you got important work to do," she took a step backwards. "Have a good day Spencer! I'll see you around!"

Spencer dazedly watched her turn around and start to walk away. She went a ways before she turned back around, calling, "I like your Star Wars socks, by the way. Maybe we could hang out sometime, watch the originals or even the prequels if you like them. I won't judge if you do."

He didn't even notice he'd been nodding until she was almost out of his line of sight. His eyes widened in horror. Did he just non verbally agree to actually spend time with this girl? What was _wrong_ with him?

She'll forget, he told himself. This is no big deal, she'll be so busy with Jack she won't even remember. And even if she doesn't, I can always ignore her. The thought eased the terror slightly, so he kept repeating it to himself the rest of the way to work, fighting hard to keep those so-absolutely-bluer-than-the-sky blue eyes out of his mind.

He was interrupting in his thoughts by JJ meeting him at the bullpen doors, a frown etched on her pretty face.

"You okay Spence?" she asked concernedly. "You're awfully pale, and what are you mumbling under your breath?"

"Nothing," Spencer brushed past her. "I'm fine, do we have a case?"

"Yeah, head to the conference room," JJ was still frowning. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Woah, is something wrong with pretty boy?" Morgan appeared out of nowhere (as usual).

"I'm fine," Spencer clenched his teeth.

"Your hands are shaking," Emily noted, joining them on their walk to the conference room. "They only do that when you're nervous."

"Are you sick? I'm sure Hotch will let you stay behind if you are."

"Maybe he's finally overdosed on coffee."

"Look! His eye is beginning to twitch, maybe-"

"I JUST DON'T WANT TO WATCH STAR WARS WITH HER!"

His three friends fell quiet, exchanging confused and worried looks with each other.

"No one said anything about Star Wars, Spence," JJ said tentatively. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Spencer said nothing, simply turned on his heel and headed into the conference room. He could hear them whispering rapidly as they slowly followed him. Damn, they would be all over this now. Why couldn't he keep his stupid mouth shut?

Damn it. Damn it. No, damn _Charlotte. _Okay Spencer, focus, Garcia's starting.

"Okay guys, this one's a bad one, we're heading to Madison, Wisconsin…."

_**Sorry if it seemed short, next chapter will be longer I promise!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Can't believe the great response to this story! Just for that, have some cute Jack in this chapter!**_

It had been three days and Charlotte was still kicking herself over actually insinuating they should hang out. Seriously, she barely even knew the guy! It was just some harmless crush. Plus he'd had such a deer in the headlights look when she'd spoken to him, like he was almost afraid of her. Well, she did come on a little strong sometimes. She'd have to work on that if she wanted to get anywhere with him.

"Get anywhere with him?" she shook her head incredulously. "For pete's sake Charlotte, you've met the guy all of twice! Now you're thinking of 'getting somewhere' with him? Get a grip girl."

"Charlotte, is dinner ready yet?" Jack bounded into the kitchen, breaking her out of her thoughts. She smiled down at the young boy, who in a matter of days had completely captured her heart.

"Pretty much, Jack Attack, did you wash your hands?"

"Of course," Jack almost rolled his eyes as he sat down at the table. "I'm 9, Charlotte, I wash my hands."

"Okay, Mr Attitude," Charlotte laughed, bending over to pull the lasagna out of the oven. "Hope you're hungry!"

The two settled down to eat, both chattering happily away at each other.

"Dad said he was coming home tomorrow, just in time for my soccer game!" Jack exclaimed happily as he munched on garlic toast. "I always like it there when he cheers me on. You should come too!"

"Of course I'll come," Charlotte smiled. "I haven't seen you play yet, it'll be fun."

"Uncle Dave is coming," Jack added. "And I think maybe even Uncle Spencer too."

At the mention of Spencer's name, Charlotte choked on her mouthful of food. "S-Spencer too?"

"Yes," Jack looked at her quizzically. "Isn't that okay? Dad said you met him, didn't you like him?"

"Well, yes, I like him alright," Charlotte took a big gulp of water. "He seems nice." (and gorgeous, and sexy and delicious, and-)

"Well then why did you choke when I said his name?" Jack questioned.

Damn, he really was a profiler's son. Charlotte racked her brain for the right thing to say.

"I uh, just didn't think he'd like soccer, is all," she finally said, hoping that was enough for Jack. It seemed to be, because he dropped the subject and began talking about his new project for the science fair.

Whew, almost got found out by a nine year old, Charlotte sighed internally. Great, if a nine year old could tell something was up, other people would be able to as well.

"Charlotte, the phone is ringing!" Jack was suddenly shaking her arm. "My hands are dirty, you have to get it, it's probably Dad."

Charlotte pushed her thought of Spencer away and reached over for the phone.

"Hello, Hotchner residence."

Silence.

"Uh, hello? Anyone there?"

"Where's Hotch?"

Charlotte's heart nearly stopped. "Spencer? Is that you?"

"Y-yes, it's me," Spencer stuttered out, his voice tired. "Is this…Charlotte?"

"No, it's a random woman who just happens to be in the house," Charlotte couldn't help but smile. "Of course it's me."

"Oh," Spencer let out a breath. "How stupid of me, of course it's you, female burglars are extremely uncommon, statistics say that-"

"Spencer," Charlotte cut him off with a laugh, reveling in the sound of his lovely voice. "Did you have a reason for calling?"

"Oh, right," he sounded flustered (he probably looks adorable flustered, she thought, running a nervous hand through his hair, tip of his ears turning red…shit, focus!) "I just forgot to tell Hotch something, I thought he'd be home by now, but I uh, I guess not."

"Do you need me to take a message?" Charlotte gripped the phone tighter, her mind still with adorable flustered Spencer.

There was a pause. "No, I'll just tell him tomorrow," she could tell he was trying not to yawn. More silence. "Uh, thank you Charlotte, good night."

"Goodnight, Spence," Charlotte almost sighed, taking the phone away from her ear sadly, when she suddenly heard a muffled "Wait!"

"Yes?" she pressed the phone eagerly back to her ear, a part of her noting how awfully pathetic she was acting.

"I uh, I," oh dear, here was flustered Spencer again. Stay calm girl, there's a nine year old in the room, he doesn't need to see you get all worked up.

"Yes?" she repeated, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

"I, uh, wantedtotakeyouuponthatstarwarsoffer," he said all in one giant breath. Charlotte's heart skipped a beat.

"Repeat that please?" she said softly, hoping against hope she'd heard him correctly.

"I wanted to take you up on that Star Wars offer," he said more slowly, his voice notably shaking. "That is, if you're still offering, of course."

Charlotte could have died of happiness right there. "Of course!" she all but squealed into the phone. "Of course I'm still offering! How about we talk about it at Jack's soccer game tomorrow, you sound pretty tired."

"Okay," Spencer's voice sounded breathy, sending a shiver of delight up her spine. "Er, yeah, that would be acceptable."

"Great! Uh, see you tomorrow, then," Charlotte knew she was grinning like an idiot, but at this point, she really didn't care. "Goodnight Spencer, sleep well."

"Goodnight Charlotte, sweet dreams." And then he was gone.

Charlotte hung up the phone, happiness bubbling from her head down to her toes. "Yes!" she let out a happy cry, doing a little hop skip in the process. Spencer Reid wanted to watch Star Wars with her! She had a start! And he had told her sweet dreams…

"Uh, Charlotte?"

Shit, she had forgot Jack was there! Charlotte stopping hopping, turning to face the very confused nine year old still sitting at the kitchen table.

"What's so exciting? Was that Dad?" Jack asked, clearly having not listened in on her conversation. Charlotte let out a sigh of relief, and smiled at him.

"No it wasn't your father, and it was nothing really," she settled back down into her chair, unable to fight the dreamy look that was making its way across her face. "It was nothing."

But oh, it could be something, she thought happily. Oh please, let it be something!

_**Ooh what made Spence change his mind? You'll find out soon!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Eeee love you guys, thanks for all your reads and reviews! This one's a bit short again, but it seemed like a good place to stop lol.**_

_**Repeating my disclaimer: own nothing CM related!**_

"Pretty boy's got a date, pretty boy's got a date!" Morgan sang as he waltzed past Spencer's desk, a large grin plastered on his face.

Spencer groaned, narrowing his eyes at his friend. "I do not have a date! Please stop being so childish."

"Oh, you have a date, my man," Morgan settled into his own desk. "A pretty girl asked you to hang out, and you said yes. Sounds like a date to me."

"It's not a date, will you stop saying that? I only agreed to watch Star Wars with her because you guys pestered me into it," Spencer grumbled, recalling how Morgan and Emily had practically forced him to call her back after he couldn't stand it anymore and had to tell someone. "I should never have told Emily that she'd even talked to me."

"Come on Reid, Prentiss and I are just looking out for you," Morgan stated. "It's about time you went on a date. Charlotte seems into you, this could be good for you."

"I don't want to date anyone," Spencer felt his anger rising. "I don't need to date anyone. The only person I want to date is lying dead in the ground!"

"Reid, that was over a year ago," Morgan sighed. "I know you're still sad, but maybe it's time to move on. Come on, no one's asking you to marry the girl. Its just one"

"Don't you dare say date," Spencer was on his feet now, his body practically shaking. "You don't know what it's like, losing the one you love! You have no idea how I feel. There will never be anybody other than Maeve, okay? Never!"

He stalked away, leaving a shocked Morgan behind him. How dare Morgan insinuate he be disloyal to Maeve. How dare he and Emily force him into doing this. And how dare a part of his stupid brain actually want it to be a date.

He couldn't deny it. There was a little piece of him somewhere, buried beneath all the rubble of his broken heart, that wanted this. That wanted Charlotte to be interested in him, to see what could become of spending time together. It was the traitorous little part that kept her a constant presence in his memory, burned there as if by a branding iron. It was the part that made him give in to Morgan and Emily's prodding, and the part that was going to make him go through with it.

He spent the rest of the day in knots. They got even worse when he remembered as he was leaving that he would be seeing Charlotte at Jack's soccer game that evening. Morgan clapped him on the back encouragingly as he left, worry in his face left over from their conversation in the morning. Spencer had no time to think about it. His mind was overrun with thoughts of Charlotte.

It didn't get any better at the game. She had made a beeline straight for him, plopping herself down into the lawn chair next to him. He managed to exchange polite pleasantries with her, which he considered a miracle considering the amount of effort he was concentrating on not leaning over and smelling the cinnamon on her skin. He was lucky though, she spent the majority of her time when she wasn't cheering talking to Rossi, who was seated on her other side. Still, sitting in such close proximity to her was maddening. He spent half the game brooding over what Maeve would think of all this, and the other half trying not to stare openly at Charlotte.

When the game was over he tried to escape quickly, but the infuriating brunette had other ideas. She caught up to him halfway to his car, that ever present smile gracing her face.

"Good game eh?" she chattered good naturedly, falling into step with him. "I never was a big soccer fan, but that was fun."

"Glad you enjoyed it," Spencer said quietly, "I'm almost to my car, I'll see you-"

"It's Friday night, you know," she interrupted him, stopping in her tracks. He stopped too, confused by her words.

"It is," he frowned. "And?"

"It means you don't have to work tomorrow," she smiled at him almost shyly. "It means you could still do something for the rest of the evening."

"Like what?" Okay, he was really confused now.

"Like make good on taking me up on my Star Wars offer."

Spencer's mouth dropped open. She wanted to do that tonight? Sure, he knew he'd agreed to it, but he didn't think it would be this soon!

"Uh, you want to do that tonight?" he breathed out, an image of the two of them on his couch, happily quoting along with the movie suddenly passing through his mind. He swallowed audibly.

"Yes, I do," Charlotte took a step towards him. She looked up at him, those doe eyes blinking at him coyly. "Come on Spencer, it'll be fun. More fun than sitting at home on your own on a Friday night. I'll even make popcorn."

Shit, those eyes! He couldn't resist those baby blues, not when they were staring up at him so, so, _attractively_. The image of them on the couch sped through his mind again, except this time they weren't really watching the movie. He flushed crimson, shaking his head quickly in embarrassment.

"Uh, okay," he closed his eyes for a moment, steadying himself. "Okay. Uh, shall I, shall I drive us?"

Charlotte's face lit up into the most beautiful smile he'd seen yet. "That would be great!" To his utter surprise, she slipped her arm through his, her small hand grasping the crook of his elbow. "Lead on, Doctor Reid!"

Damn, this night was going to get interesting.

_**Ooh so it was a combo of peer pressure and his secret desires that made him say yes! Next chapter is all about their "date"!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Two updates in one day! I'm on a roll! LOL. Seriously though guys, you are the best! Enjoy this one!**_

Charlotte sighed for what had to be the umpteenth time in an hour. She flicked her gaze over to Spencer, whose eyes were glued to the screen and had been since they sat down. He sat perfectly straight, hands clasped in his lap, completely rigid and unmoving. She'd never seen someone look more uncomfortable in her life. But then again, uncomfortable seemed to be the theme of the evening.

The whole car ride back to her apartment he'd barely said a word. She'd tried to engage him in small talk, but she'd only received one word answers or no answer at all. She knew he was shy, she'd gathered that much from their previous encounters, but come on, a guy could try, couldn't he? When they'd got to her place, he'd sat himself down on the couch and really hadn't moved since. She'd sat on the opposite end of the couch, hoping he'd move closer, but she wasn't really surprised when he didn't.

She'd thought maybe he'd open up when the movie was on, but that didn't work either. Good grief, what was this guy's problem? Did he not like her and he was just hanging out with her to be polite? She'd thought his shyness and stuttering had been because he was attracted to her, but now she wasn't so sure.

"Great Charlotte," she mumbled to herself. "You've got a major crush on a guy who doesn't even like you. Just great." She chanced another look at Spencer. Nope, no change. Okay, this had to stop. She had to know what was going on in that brain of his!

"Alright, I can't take this anymore," she put the movie on pause. "This is ridiculous."

"Huh?" Spencer blinked, finally turning towards her. "You stopped the movie."

"Yes, because this is stupid," Charlotte sighed, setting down the remote. "You've barely said a word to me all evening. You're sitting there like being here is the last place you want to be. Spencer, if you didn't want to come here, you could have just said so."

Spencer's eyes widened. "W-what? Of course, I want to be here-"

"No, you don't," Charlotte cut him off. "Look Spencer, I like you. I know I've only known you for less than a week, but there's just something about you. I want to hang out with you, get to know you better. I thought maybe you might be into me, you certainly get tongue tied around me, but I guess I read everything wrong. If you being here is simply out of politeness, then please, feel free to leave. I understand."

She fell quiet, trying to read the look on Spencer's face. His eyes had closed, his brow had furrowed, and he looked like he was thinking hard. Or in a lot of pain, she couldn't tell.

A whole minute passed. He remained the same, except she could notice a twitch in his brow and a tremble in his hands. She frowned, well at least he wasn't leaving.

"Spencer?" she spoke timidly, hesitantly sliding herself a little closer towards him. "Spencer, are you okay?"

He didn't say anything, but his hands began to visibly shake. Okay, something was definitely up.

"Spencer, please say something," oh great, now she was begging. "Please, I-"

But she never got to finish her sentence, because suddenly her mouth was covered by the pair of thin lips she'd been fantasizing about ever since she laid eyes on them.

Taken by surprise, she remained frozen for a second, his lips pressed steadily against hers, neither of them moving. She could hear her heart pounding, ready to leap out of her chest. Okay, maybe he was attracted to her. Slowly, as if guided by an unseen force, she brought one hand up to gently cup his cheek.

And it was if he suddenly sprang to life. Two large, warm hands grabbed at her waist, practically crushing her into his chest. His lips began to move, urgent and needy against her own. She gasped in surprise, and he took the opportunity to plunge his tongue into her mouth.

Hot damn, where had he learned to kiss like this? Her whole body felt like it was on fire, like there was molten hot lava coursing through her veins. His lips were sweet, his tongue smooth like velvet. She responded instinctually, her hands coming up to tangle themselves in his soft hair as she kissed him back with all she had. He let out a low growl in approval, his own hands gripping her waist even harder.

And then his lips were gone, but before she could even protest, they landed on her neck. He pressed greedy, hot, open mouthed kisses all along her neck and up her jawline. All she could do was keep hold of his hair and whimper in pleasure. Shit, she was so turned on right now…

"Spencer!" she gasped out when she felt his teeth tug on her earlobe.

And as quickly as he'd come to life at her touch, he shut down at the sound of her voice. His lips tore from her ear so hard it actually hurt, and he actually pushed her down in his haste to let go of her and get off the couch.

"Spencer?" she asked unsurely, trying to right herself. He looked terrified, like he'd just done something unforgiveable and now he had to face the consequences. His eyes were wide open, his chest heaving rapidly. Those lips that had just been making her skin practically sing were pushed together in a firm hard line. "Spencer? What's wrong?"

"I-I-I have to go," he gasped out, his eyes flicking around the room. His body jerked wildly, as if it was loathe to obey his brain's commands. "I shouldn't be here. This isn't right."

"You don't have to go," a tight feeling was building in Charlotte's chest. "We don't have to keep kissing, if you want, we can just go back to the movie. Please," the last word came out as a whisper. "Don't go."

His eyes moved back to her, and in them she could see a whole parade of emotions. Sadness, pain, lust, and something slightly softer she couldn't quite place.

"I'm sorry," his voice was now a near sob. "I can't stay."

And then he was gone.

Charlotte blinked rapidly, the tightness in her chest reaching the point of constriction. Why would he kiss her like that, only to push her away like she was some sort of dirty rag doll? Had she done something wrong? She'd thought for sure he had some feelings towards her, after a kiss that passionate. You don't just kiss someone like that unless you feel something towards them. So why was she sitting here alone?

A tear of hurt and confusion slipped down her cheek. She wiped it away, silently willing herself not to cry. Not over some guy she'd only known for a few days. But like she'd said, there was something about him, something that simply drew her to him. She ached to find out what it was, to explore the enigma that was Doctor Spencer Reid.

But maybe now I never will, she thought bitterly.

And with that thought, Charlotte gave herself over to the tears.

_**I know, I know, terrible place to leave it! Sorry!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hello gorgeous people! You all rock! Special thanks go out to my lovely reviewer tannerose5 for perhaps the nicest complement on my writing ever! **_

_**I own nothing CM related.**_

Spencer shuddered as the cold water splashed onto his face. He took a deep breath, letting the water drip down his face and into the sink below. He tried to force her hurt and confused face out of his mind, but it stayed there, like a movie stuck on pause. What had he done?

He hadn't meant to kiss her. He'd only meant to stay long enough for the movie to be over, and then he would leave. But then she'd started talking about him not being attracted to her, and he had suddenly become rooted to the spot. How could she assume he wasn't completely enraptured by her? She looked so unsure of herself, so unsure of her own beauty and allure that he'd been overcome by the desire to show her she was wrong. And then he'd gone and pressed his lips to hers, and time had completely stood still. It was like they were the only two souls in the entire universe. He'd frozen, everything hanging in the balance of her reaction.

And of course she had to go and touch him.

One soft brush of her hands and he lost it. Something deep down inside him, something primal he'd kept long buried suddenly awoke, and everything became _her._

Soft, pliant lips, moving ferociously under his. A honey taste on her tongue. Her tiny, warm body pressed perfectly against his. And that sweet cinnamon skin, so soft and so delicious. He'd been overcome with the urge to simply devour her, to consume her until he didn't know where she ended and he began.

It was bliss, until she spoke.

Then suddenly his mind was filled with images of Maeve, of her laugh and her smile and her cold dead body and oh shit, what was he doing, this was so wrong! And so he'd wrenched himself from Charlotte's warmth, horror and fear and self loathing washing over him in wave after wave.

And then the worst part. Her angelic face lined with hurt, with confusion. Half of him screamed to take her back into his arms, to wipe that sadness away and have it never return. The other half begged him to leave, to retreat back to the safety of Maeve's ghost. He'd done the latter of course, and it was killing him.

"Damn it!" he cursed, pounding his fist against the porcelain of the sink. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why did he have to fall in love with Maeve in the first place? Why did she have to go and die on him? And why, after swearing he'd never love another, did Charlotte have to show up in his life? Why, everything was just a big why. It made him so confused and angry, he just wanted to start using again, to find some form of release he couldn't seem to get.

BRRRRINNNG!

The shrill ring of his phone broke the heavy silence. Garcia's face smiled up at him from the screen. He considered ignoring her for a moment, but he didn't want to hurt anyone else tonight.

"Hey, boy genius, how's your date going?" she immediately started babbling when he picked up. "Sorry, Morgan told me. I'm so excited for you! She seems so nice from what everyone tells me, I can't wait to meet her! Sorry I'm probably interrupting, but I just had to-"

"Garcia, stop," he finally broke in, his heart twisting at her cheerful words. "I'm at home."

"Oh," her voice lost some of its cheerfulness. "Oh, um, why are you there? Is something wrong?"

Reid thought about how he'd hidden so much from his friends over the past year. His urges to use, his true pain. That had gotten him nowhere. Maybe it was time to share a little something.

"I-I messed up, Garcia," he sighed, sitting down heavily on the edge of his bathtub. "I messed up really bad."

"Oh honey, tell Garcia what happened," the tech queen cooed. "I'm sure its not that bad."

"Yes, it is," Reid ran a hand through his hair. "You see, I, well I, kind of kissed her."

"WHAT!?" Her shriek was so loud he had to pull the phone away from his ear. "How on earth is that bad, Mr Genius? From what Derek told me, that girl was looking like she wanted you to do more than just kiss her."

Reid blushed, Garcia's words bringing up images he didn't need to see right now. "Well, after I kissed her, I ran out."

Silence.

"Garcia?"

"You IDIOT! You do not just do that to a girl! What were you thinking?"

"Garcia, I'm scared," Reid blurted out, feeling surprised (and oddly relieved) he'd said it. "I'm scared, because she makes me feel things! Things I felt for Maeve! I love Maeve, how can I disrespect her like this? Charlotte, well she confuses me! I want to know her, and at the same time I don't! It's all so damn frustrating!"

"Reid," Garcia's voice was soft. "Reid, honeybee, do you honestly think Maeve would feel like you're disrespecting her?"

"Well, I mean, she knew I love her, if I'm attracted to another woman-"

"Spencer Reid," Garcia's use of his full name shut him up. "Maeve was a beautiful, kind woman who loved you very much. Don't you think she'd want you to move on? To find love and happiness with someone else? Think of it this way, if it was you who died, what would you want her to do? Wallow in her pain for the rest of her life? Or find new love, someone who can make her happy again?"

Spencer knew the answer. "I'd want her to be happy, no matter what."

"Exactly lovebug," Garcia said quietly. "Just because you move on doesn't mean you have to forget her. Look at Hotch. He loves Beth, but Hayley still has a place in his heart. He never forgot her."

"But Garcia," Spencer played his final card. "I'm not ready for love."

"And no one's asking you to be," he could hear her smiling. "If you like Charlotte, take it slow. Be her friend. Date her. Hold her hand, kiss her under a street light. And if you fall in love, you fall in love. You'll be ready for it if it happens."

Spencer let her words sink in. Maeve would have wanted him to be happy, that he knew. But did that mean with another girl? He thought about Hotch, and his relationship with Beth. Garcia was right, Hotch still loved Hayley, yet he loved Beth at the same time. He suddenly had a vision of him and Charlotte walking down the street, hand in hand, laughing and smiling. A green eyed brunette beauty walked behind them, her own face lit up with happiness as she watched them. He felt a stir inside his chest.

"I never though about any of this before," he said softy, almost to himself.

"That's because it wasn't time for you to think about it until now," Garcia answered. "Even geniuses don't always get the answer right away, you know."

But the answer was sitting right in front of him now. He'd just been too blind to see it, too absorbed in his own pain. He hadn't even stopped to consider Maeve's opinion in all of this. But he was considering it now. It still scared him half to death, but the image of Maeve smiling at his happiness was burnt in his brain. Maybe he could make a start. Maybe he could give this a try. But first he had to make sure he still had someone to try it with.

"Garcia, I have to go," he stood up from the tub, unable to help the small smile forming on his lips. "There's something I need to do."

Garcia let out a loud, happy laugh. "Go get her, tiger."

_**Yeah, I made Reid change his mind. Sue me, I like happiness lol. But don't worry, there will be more drama to come!**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hello loves! Thank you for your continued support! You are all awesome, as I tell you regularly *smile***_

Charlotte sighed loudly to herself, absently stirring her freshly brewed cup of tea. It was getting close to midnight, but she could see no sleep in her future. Hoe could she sleep, after what happened only hours prior? She'd finished crying her tears, but her heart was still weighed down with hurt and bewilderment. There was no way one could sleep with such feelings upon them.

She moved almost robotically to the couch, flipping on the T.V to drown out the thick silence coating her apartment. She watched the screen without paying attention, her brain repeating over and over that perfect, blissful moment in Spencer's arms. Damn, what she wouldn't give to be back there, before the rejection.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

Charlotte practically few off the couch, her body reacting in surprise. Who on earth would be knocking on her door at this time of night? And how did they even get into the building?

She made her way to the door, curiosity outweighing any fear. Pressing up against the door, she stood up on her toes to look through the peephole.

She almost fell over in her scramble to open the door.

"Spencer," she breathed, her heart rate increasing at the sight of him in her doorway. "What are you doing here? How did you get in?"

"The night security guard let me in," Spencer rocked on his heels, his clasped nervously in front of him. "And I, um, I'm here to explain what, what happened earlier."

Charlotte felt her heart squeeze at the sincerity in his voice. "You really hurt me, Spencer."

A look of pain crossed his face. "I know," he said softly. "And I'm sorry. Please, let me come in so I can explain myelf."

Even if she hadn't wanted to let him in, that sweet, apologetic face would have broken her down. She steeped aside, allowing Spencer to come in.

They settled awkwardly on the couch, a heavy silence settling with them. Charlotte fiddled with her tea mug, her eyes fixed on Spencer. He was biting his lip, as if he didn't know exactly where to start. She kept quite. He would speak when he was ready.

She only had to wait a minute.

"There was a girl," he started quietly. "About a year ago. Her name was Maeve. She was the most amazing girl I'd ever met. She was a geneticist. I was having these intense headaches that no doctor could explain. She was trying to help me out. We only ever spoke on the phone, but there was just something about her. I-I fell in love with her."

Charlotte's eyes widened. She hadn't been expected this.

"We couldn't meet because she had a stalker," Spencer continued, pain evident in his voice. "It was going good, until she was kidnapped. The team took the case, of course. We tried to save her but-" he chocked back a sob, "we couldn't. I watched the criminal kill both herself and Maeve, after she made me tell her I didn't love her."

Charlotte put a hand over her mouth in horror, tears pricking at the back of her eyes. "Oh Spencer, I'm so sorry-" But Spencer held up a hand to silence her.

"Please, let me finish," he hiccupped, trying to compose himself. "I've been wallowing in my pain for a year now. I thought everything good in life had died with Maeve. Then you showed up," he looked her straight in the eye. "You showed up and you made me feel things. Things I thought I'd never feel again. It scared me. That's why I ran. I'm so attracted to you and it scares the shit out of me."

He gave her a tiny smile. "I really am sorry, Charlotte. I should have explained instead of running out. Forgive me?"

Charlotte could feel the tears running down her cheeks. "Oh Spencer, there's nothing to forgive."

Overcome with affection and compassion, she launched herself across the couch, throwing her arms around Spencer. To her surprise and delight, he folded her gently against his chest, his cheek pressing to the top of her head. They stayed like that for a long minute, two souls simply drawing comfort from each other.

Finally, they pulled apart, but Spencer kept his hold on Charlotte's waist. She smiled at him, wiping her eyes hastily.

"So, what now, Dr Reid?" she half laughed, hyper aware of his large hands grasping her.

Spencer bit his lip again, a shy look crossing his face. "Well, if you would be open to it, I have a proposal."

Charlotte smiled. "I'm listening."

"Well," Spencer looked down at his lap. "A very good friend pointed out to me today that I can't sit in my pain and memories forever. I can't say that it won't be slow, maybe even a snail's pace. Taking it slow can work, statistics say that-"

"Spencer," Charlotte cut him off with a laugh. "I agree to your proposal."

Spencer's head shot up. "Really? But I never even said what it was."

"I know what you meant," Charlotte smiled, resisting the urge to reach out and touch his adorable face. "And we can take it as slow as you want."

Spencer's face broke out into the first true smile she'd seen, and it was absolutely breathtaking. His whole face was alight, his eyes alive, laugh lines crinkling happily in the corners. She vowed right then and there to make him smile like that as often as she could. Her own smile widened at the knowledge that she would actually have that chance now. She did a little happy dance on the inside, feeling like a lovestruck teenager all over again.

"We could start right now if you like," she offered, sliding off the couch and grabbing her now cold tea. "I can make us some fresh tea, we can play get to know each other… unless," she flushed, "that's too fast for you?"

Spencer gave her another knee weakening, toe curling, heart melting smile.

"No, that sounds just fine."

_**Actually this chapter isn't my favourite lol. I feel like Reid is too OOC. Oh well, hope you guys still like it.**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Here's another chapter for you lovely people! I just bought Criminal Minds season 8, so if my updates slow down, it's because I'm too wrapped up in staring at Dr Reid's lovely face lol.**_

_**Again, own nothing CM related.**_

"So when do we get to spend some time with your new girlfriend?"

Spencer sighed, rolling his eyes as he brushed past Morgan on the way to Rossi's kitchen. The team was having their monthly Italian family dinner at the older agent's mansion, and Spencer was starting to wish he'd stayed home.

"She's not my girlfriend!" he stated for perhaps the thousandth time. "We agreed to take things slow. I hardly think 'girlfriend' counts as slow. Thanks for telling everybody, by the way," he threw at Garcia, who had just made her appearance.

"Spencer Reid, I deserve your undying thanks for talking you into going back to that apartment," Garcia wagged her finger at him. "Plus, I was just so happy, I had to tell everyone!"

"This has been a long time coming, kid," Morgan clapped him on the shoulder, "We all just want to share in the loooooove."

"Well share in it amongst yourselves," Reid waved him off. "I don't wanna talk about it."

He left the kitchen, seeking the solace of Rossi's massive backyard. It wasn't that he wasn't glad the team was happy, and he wasn't really mad at Garcia. It was just, he wanted to keep what was happening with him and Charlotte between themselves. He smiled.

They had stayed up until three in the morning, and the talking did not cease for one second. He had talked more that night than he had ever talked in his life. And about everything. He told her about his mom and her illness. He told her about his kidnap and torture by Tobias Hankel. He told her about his drug use. He even told her about Gideon leaving. She had held his hand (come on, taking it slow didn't mean he couldn't touch her at all. That cinnamon skin was just too tempting), and listened and just _understood. _She didn't judge, didn't cringe, didn't laugh at his use of statistics. It had felt so good to have everything out there in the open.

The night had ended with a very chaste kiss on the cheek, and the promise to spend more time together the next night. Spencer had bounced around the whole next day, a happy nervous ball of energy. He was surprised to find by the time he was leaving for her apartment, he'd realized he'd only thought about Maeve only about a dozen times. The thought made him sad, but he quickly shook it away and focused instead on his evening with Charlotte.

They ordered Indian takeout and (at Reid's insistence) spent the night talking about her. He learned she was born and raised just outside of New York City, had a twin brother studying medicine, and her parents still lived in the house she grew up in. She'd gotten an English degree in college, but chose to continue her nannying despite everyone else's wishes. She loved to read, hated being late, never drank coffee (that one floored him), and had seen every single episode of Doctor Who ever made. In a measure of good faith, she'd shared with him the hard stuff too. How she'd lost her closest cousin in a car accident. How she struggled with an eating disorder in high school. And the worst of all, how she'd been sexually assaulted at her first college party. He'd pulled her close after that one, stroking her soft hair as she let out a few sobs into his chest. It made him angry, angry that anyone could ever hurt such a sweet, sweet girl. He found himself vowing that if he could, he wouldn't let her hurt again.

"You okay, kid?"

Spencer snapped out of his thoughts, turning around to see Rossi smiling at him, two wine glasses in hand.

"I'm fine," he said, taking the glass Rossi offered to him. "Just thinking."

"About her," Rossi smiled knowingly. "It's written all over your face."

Spencer blushed. "Profilers," he muttered.

"Don't need to be a profiler to see it," Rossi laughed, shaking his head. "Although, if I was to profile you, I'd say you're wishing you were somewhere with her instead of her with us. Which you won't have to worry about soon, as I'm pretty sure she just pulled up."

Spencer nearly spit out his mouthful of wine. "W-What?"

"Aaron invited her," Rossi smiled at the flustered agent. "The man may look serious all the time, but he's a crafty bastard when he wants to be. This should be fun."

Spencer gaped at the older agent as he walked away. Hotch had invited Charlotte? Not that he didn't want her to get to know the group, but for pete's sake, they were just getting to know each other! He wanted to keep her all to himself for the time being. Guess that wasn't going to happen. He swallowed nervously.

"Reid, get in here!" he heard Morgan shout. "Your girlfriend's here!"

Reid groaned. Damn, here goes nothing.

"Spencer!"

She barreled at him full force, flinging her arms around him in a tight hug. He barely had time to hug her back before she'd stepped back, her eyes roving over the massive foyer of the house. "Wow, this place is huge! Oh, hi Derek!"

Morgan chuckled, giving Charlotte a quick squeeze. "Hey sweetheart, nice to see you again."

"You too! Is everyone else here?"

"We are!" Garcia came into the room, JJ hot on her heels. "I'm Penelope, and this is JJ. We are absolutely thrilled to meet you, pumpkin!"

"I'm thrilled to meet you guys too," Charlotte hugged them both. "Spencer tells me nothing but good things."

"Well, its time to eat," Rossi clapped his hands. "To the dining room!"

The others followed him, but Charlotte stopped Spencer before he could. She beamed up at him, one hand reaching up to tug playfully on his tie.

"You look adorable," she grinned. "I like you in a tie."

Spencer blushed, a smile creeping over his face. "Thanks. You look very nice yourself."

Very nice was an understatement. She was wearing a yellow sundress that hugged her curves perfectly. It made his mouth go dry just looking at her. Her hair was pulled into that wonderful soft side ponytail he was quickly coming to love, and her lips were painted the most delicious shade of pink. He had to seriously restrain himself from leaning down and kissing her senseless.

"Thanks," Charlotte giggled. "Oh, I really hope you don't mind I'm here. Aaron felt bad I was staying home alone, since Jack is at his aunt's tonight."

"Its okay," Spencer said softly. "I'm glad to spend more time with you."

Charlotte gave him another mega watt smile. "I'm glad too."

"Oi, you two! Stop standing there pretending you don't want to snog each other senseless! Dinner's getting cold!"

Spencer both groaned and blushed for what he knew would not be the last time tonight. "This is going to be a long night."

Charlotte laughed. "Come on, Genius. If it gets too much, we can leave before dessert and go watch some Doctor Who. Now, if you please, I would like to be escorted to my seat." She held out her arm.

Spencer took her proffered arm, butterflies bouncing in his stomach at the thought of time with her alone later.

"It would be my pleasure."

_**Thanks for reading, loves!**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Sorry this one took so long, it was a busy week! Thank you faithful readers and reviewers, please enjoy this one!**_

"You okay, pumpkin? You look a little strung out."

Charlotte stood in the doorway of Penelope's tech lair, running a frazzled hand through her long hair. Pen was right, she was strung out. And there was no one better to talk to it about.

"Pen, I know we've only been friends for a few weeks, but I really need to talk to someone. Girl to girl," she wrung her hands. "Are you free?"

"Course I am, darling!" Penelope gestured to her second swivel chair. "Have a seat."

Charlotte practically threw herself into the chair, grateful for Penelope's kindness. They'd hung out quite a bit since they met at Rossi's, and she was growing quite close to the vivacious tech queen.

"So what's troubling ya?" Penelope asked.

Charlotte sighed. "Where do I begin? You know how Spencer and I have been spending a lot of time together lately?"

"Yeah," Penelope grinned. "You two have been practically inseparable since Rossi's three weeks ago. Which I'm sure neither of you is complaining about."

Charlotte couldn't help but smile. She truly enjoyed spending all this time with Spencer. They watched Doctor Who, they played chess in the park, they drank tea on her balcony and just talked. She felt like she was really starting to get close to him, and she was liking him more and more. But therein lay her current problem.

"Derek was right when he said at Rossi's that you were a smitten little lady," Penelope laughed at the dreamy look on Charlotte's face. "Look at that silly smile."

"But that's my problem," Charlotte's smile fell. "I'm completely, totally smitten. And he wants to…well…go slow. And well…you know…"she trailed off, hoping Pen would get her drift.

Penelope's eyes got wide. "Oh. My. Stars. You are totally itching to jump Boy Wonder's bones!"

Charlotte blushed all the way to her roots. "Pen!"

"Okay, maybe not jump his bones, but you totally want to get more action!" Pen squealed. "Oh Charlotte, how is that a problem?"

"Because I don't want to push him!" Charlotte groaned, throwing her hands up in frustration. "He's still working out everything with getting over Maeve, I don't want to force myself on him. I want him to want it too, on his own terms."

"Only his terms are leaving you high and, well not so dry," Penelope smirked, causing Charlotte to blush even deeper. "What exactly are you guys even doing?"

"We hold hands, and sometime I kiss him on the cheek," Charlotte rubbed a hand over her face. "That is it."

"Oh pumpkin," Penelope sighed, reaching over to pat the younger girl's hand. "I see your pain. That is hardly adequate for two people so obviously deeply attracted to each other."

"It's killing me," Charlotte frowned. "But like I said, I don't wanna push him. He's gotta come to me, you know?"

"He will, sugarbean, he will," Penelope assured her. "He is a man after all. He can't hold out forever."

"Well, he's doing a pretty good job so far," Charlotte remarked sullenly.

"Chin up," Penelope stated firmly. "Spencer will get there, don't you worry. Are you guys hanging out tonight?"

"We're watching a Star Trek documentary at his place," Charlotte nodded.

"You two are such nerds," Penelope rolled her eyes, grinning. "Okay, so you don't wanna push him, that's fine. Doesn't mean you can't do a little bit of persuading though….that's it, I'm dressing you for your date tonight!"

LATER

Charlotte smoothed a hand down over her dress. Why did she let Pen talk her into this? She felt ridiculous. The sundress Pen had magically produced from the back of her closet was far too, well, lets just say it wasn't a dress you wear to watch a movie on the couch. It wasn't a club dress or anything, but it was definitely different from her usual attire. She had to admit, it did make her chest look awesome, and the pattern was really nice….oh what was she thinking, she should've just worn some jeans. Well, it was too late now.

She knocked on Spencer's door, still trying to tug the dress down another couple of inches.

"Charlotte! Hey, come on…."

Okay, so wearing this dress was a least worth the look on Spencer's face. His eyes opened wide, his jaw hanging slack. He looked as if someone had just momentarily stunned him. She held back a giggle. Score one for Pen.

"Hi Spencer," she brushed past him into his apartment. "Got everything all set up?"

She turned to face him, noticing how his eyes suddenly snapped up to her face. Good grief, was he actually just checking out her ass? She felt her cheeks heat up.

"Spencer?" she questioned, as he was still sort of staring at her with that dumb expression on his face.

"Right, y-yes!" he jumped, avoiding looking at her as he scurried past towards the living room. "I just need to put the DVD in."

She sat on the couch, watching him fumble with the DVD. Damn, he was so freaking adorable. And so freaking hot. She loved him in a button up shirt with a casual cardigan thrown over it, two buttons undone at the top so she could get a peek at that sexy hollow of his throat. She just wanted to pin him down and lick that patch of skin. And then perhaps just tear that shirt completely off…

Get a hold of yourself girl, she chastised herself as Spencer finally sorted out the DVD. He came and sat beside her on the couch, farther away than normal, she noticed, and didn't even look at her once. She hid a smile.

The documentary passed mostly in silence, both of them becoming absorbed in its content. Still, Charlotte noticed how every couple of minutes, Spencer would inch a little bit closer to her on the couch. By the time they'd got to the end, he was right up against her, their legs and arms pressing together. Progress, considering every other time he'd been at least 6 inches away, their clasped hands sitting between them like some sort of barrier. It made her nervous. Was tonight really going to be the night? Was she finally going to be able to actually properly kiss him?

The credits finished rolling, and the room plunged into silence. But it wasn't their normal type of companionable silence. It was thick and heavy, laced with something she couldn't quite place. Charlotte could feel the heat from Spencer's body seeping into her, could hear his short, unsteady breathing beside her. She felt herself begin to tremble slightly, anticipation pricking at her skin. Something was happening, she could feel it.

Without warning, she felt a gentle hand run softly through her hair. She froze, her heart beating erratically. The hand pushed the hair off her shoulder, letting it tumble freely down her back. There was a pause, and then long, gentle fingers began trailing themselves gently over her shoulder, leaving a trail of fire behind them. Charlotte sucked in a breath, plucking up the courage to turn and face him.

It was a good thing she was sitting, because her knees would have totally given out at the look Spencer was giving her. It was a hungry, almost needy look, his eyes turned dark. It was a look she'd felt only once before, the first time he'd kissed her almost a month ago. He'd run out on her that night. Something told her he wouldn't be doing that tonight.

His fingers continued to trail over her skin, now moving on to skim her collarbone. He started directly into her eyes, all adorable shyness gone.

"I can't do this anymore," he spoke quietly, his voice husky. She felt a shiver run through her entire body. "You're making it impossible."

"Making what impossible?" she managed to get out.

"Keeping my physical distance," his fingers moved to brush her throat. "It's been a month since we started this, and I find myself wanting more and we're doing isn't enough."

Charlotte could swear her heart was going to beat out of her chest. "Oh really?"

"Really," Spencer sighed, letting his hand rest gently on the side of her neck. "I've tried and tried to resist, to go slow, as we said, but I can't anymore. I can't. I've thought it over, and I'm okay with it. I need it. More, I mean. More of _you_."

Charlotte felt a warmth spread throughout her body at his words. This was real. He was actually telling her, with the most wonderful, sexy, truly honest look on his face. Still she felt compelled to ask, "Are you sure, Spencer?" in a small voice that sounded hopelessly needy and pathetic.

"I'm sure," Spencer nodded, his face serious. "No running out, I promise. I want this."

Charlotte let out a soft, almost relieved laugh. "Well, about damn time," she grinned, and without further hesitation, reached for his cardigan and yanked him towards her.

Their mouths collided in a flurry of tongues and teeth, both eager to express the pent up longing they'd kept inside these long weeks. They sank slowly back onto the couch, Charlotte letting out a soft mew of contentment as Spencer settled his body weight comfortably onto her. One of his large hands threaded itself into her hair, while the clenched her hip. Hers stayed fisted tight in his sweater, keeping him as close as possible. Good grief, she though distractedly as Spencer's tongue did something particularly nice against her own, we really owe Penelope now. Maybe we should buy her a muffin basket.

The thought made her giggle, causing Spencer to pull back with a semi frown. "Something wrong?"

"Oh no," Charlotte giggled again, reaching up to run a hand through his unruly hair. "Just thinking about how we are even more in Pen's debt now. She made me wear this dress tonight. If I'm not mistaken, it certainly helped us get to this point."

Spencer let out a chuckle, the hand on her hip rubbing the dress fabric rather affectionately. "It certainly did. You know, 85% of males state their favorite article of clothing on a woman is a sundress. I can see why," his eyes grew dark again. "You always look particularly lovely in a sundress, especially this one. I just couldn't take it any longer. I mean, it has been building for a while, I was just hesitant, for many reasons of course, but I am a man, and-"

"Spencer," Charlotte pressed a finger to his lips, "please just shut up and kiss me."

And Spencer was more than happy to oblige.

_**I'll try to be quicker with the next one, promise!**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Thanks for your patience again, dear readers! I love you all! Enjoy this one, it has a bit more OOC Spencer for you *wink***_

_**Own nothing CM related.**_

Spencer didn't think he'd ever smiled so much in his entire life. Seriously, he'd been wearing this ridiculous grin for three whole days, and it showed no signs of going away. His face was actually starting to hurt. But he couldn't help it. His mind was just full of something wonderful, something beautiful, something very brunette and very good at making his heart race with desire.

He still couldn't believe he'd held out that long. One whole entire month with only the contact of her hand in his, or her lips briefly brushing his cheek. If he'd known what true physical contact with her would feel like, he'd have broken down his barriers long ago. True, they'd only gone as far as to kiss like horny teenagers, but even that was overwhelming in its pleasure. Her soft, supple lips under his. Silky brown hair in one hand, warm, soft skin in the other. Her tiny sighs of contentment that made him nearly fit to burst with lust and affection. The press of her tiny body against his. All of it combined together practically made him go crazy.

Just thinking about all this made Spencer start to feel a little hot under the collar. He checked his watch. Only 5 hours until the work day was over. His grin stretched even further. 5 hours until he'd have her in his arms….

"Hey, Reid, you in for the bar tonight?" Emily's voice made him nearly jump out of his chair. He swiveled around to face the smiling brunette.

"Um, what?" he coughed, trying to push thoughts of him and Charlotte on his couch out of his mind.

"I said, are you in for the bar tonight," Emily repeated, leaning against his desk. "We're all in except you and Rossi."

"Uh, well," Spencer sputtered, wondering how he could politely decline without giving anything away. "I don't think so, I was just gonna go home and…relax."

"And by relax you mean make out with your girlfriend," Emily grinned. "We aren't stupid Reid, you've been smiling like a lovesick fool for three days now. That can only mean one thing, you guys took it to the next level."

Spencer blushed, looking down at his desk . "I don't wanna talk about it. That's private."

"Hey, we're all for it," Emily patted his arm. "A happy Reid is our favorite Reid. But come on, you're our baby. You know we're gonna tease the shit out of you no matter what." She moved back from his desk. "So I'll put you in for the bar then. Considering your girlfriend already said yes."

Spencer's head shot up. "You talked to her?"

"Course I did," Emily winked. "She's excited. Something about wanting to get you onto the dance floor. I can't wait to see that."

Spencer groaned. "Oh dear."

"This is gonna be fun!" Emily backed up towards the doors. "Your girlfriend sounds like she's just my type of girl, Reid."

"She not my girlfriend," Spencer stated, still horrified at the prospect of having to dance.

"Yet," Emily waved, heading out the bullpens doors. "See you tonight, loverboy!"

Spencer watched her go, his mind replaying the last snippet of conversation. Charlotte wasn't his girlfriend. He'd never asked her. Was he ready to ask her? The "yet" echoed in his mind. Obviously he was headed down that road, but was he ready for the "yet" to be so soon? Was he ready to commit to a relationship, when Maeve still haunted him?

Granted, her appearances were becoming fewer now. Nightmares now occurred only once or twice a night, the rest of his sleep filled with dreams of cinnamon skin and baby blue eyes. During the day, she was only a shadow in the back of his mind. Maybe that was a sign. Maybe something was telling him he was ready. He thought of what would happen if he didn't speak up and Charlotte found someone else. Someone who would commit to her. The thought made his blood boil with jealously. No, Charlotte was his. And tonight, he was gonna do something about that.

LATER THAT NIGHT

The bar was loud and crowded when he arrived. He stood near the door, scanning the crowd for his team. He'd shown up alone, as Charlotte had called telling him she'd meet him there after she dropped Jack off at a friend's house for a sleepover. He was kind of glad, this way it gave him more time to think about how exactly he was going to work up the courage to ask her to be officially his.

His eyes caught sight of Hotch and Will sitting at a corner table, laughing as they watched JJ and Beth clean up at the pool table. Emily was at the bar, chatting up a guy in a grey suit. Morgan and Garcia were on the dance floor, barely visible amongst the sea of bodies. He made his way over to Hotch and Will, doing his best to avoid bumping into anyone.

"There he is!" Will clapped him on the shoulder when he arrived at the table. "Where's your lady friend?"

"She's dropping off Jack at a friends," Hotch answered for him. "She'll be here soon, I'm sure. Want a beer, Reid? First round's on me."

Spencer shook his head, instead promising to watch the table as Hotch and Will went over to the bar. He sat on a stool, his eyes roaming over the place. Damn, he hated bars. So loud and noisy and dirty and completely ridiculous. He'd take a quite night at home with a book any day over a place like this.

"Penny for your thought, sugar?"

He nearly fell off the stool trying to turn around. And then nearly fell off again when he saw her.

Short shorts. Sweet mother of pearl, _short shorts_. His brain felt like it was actually malfunctioning. She was wearing a pair of black shorts, paired with a shimmery silver tank top that gave him a tasteful but damn nice view of her chest. His eyes travelled down her legs to the pair of metallic heels on her feet. Good grief she was trying to kill him. He thought she was pretty in everything she wore, but tonight, she was downright _sexy_.

'I thought I'd dress up a bit tonight," Charlotte smiled at him shyly. "Emily lent me the top. Do you like it?"

Spencer's mouth opened and closed, no words coming out.

"I'll take that as a yes," Charlotte giggled, stepping closer to him. "Do I get a hello kiss?"

Spencer broke out of his trance at the word "kiss". He reached out and grabbed her waist, pulling her right in between his legs. He let her get out a short giggle before he crushed his lips to hers. It was a short kiss (they were in public, after all), but passionate none the less.

"I missed you," he murmured when they had broken apart, his hands however keeping her firmly against him.

"Missed you too," Charlotte smiled up at him, tugging on his cardigan gently. "Now please, buy me a drink and lets get our butts on the dance floor."

"No, no dance floor," Spencer groaned, squeezing her gently. "I don't dance. I can't dance."

"Aww, spoil sport," Charlotte pouted. "Fine, I'll just get the ladies to join me. Looks like JJ and Beth are done with their pool game. You sit here and be a good boy until I come back."

So Spencer did just that. He watched Charlotte gather up the women and steer them to the dance floor. He kept his eyes trained on her. A bar like this was full of men just waiting to snatch up a girl like her. If he wasn't joining her on the dance floor, he could at least keep an eye on things from back here.

Not 5 minutes had passed before lo and behold, a guy approached her. Spencer felt his skin prickle at the sight of the guy leaning down to speak into Charlotte's ear. She frowned and pushed him away, which made Spencer smile. But that wasn't the end. More guys approached her. Each one she turned away, but each time he felt his jealously grow. His fist clenched at his side as the newest lowlife attempted to pick up his girl. That's it, he thought.

He slide off his barstool and stalked towards the dance floor, barely hearing the cheers of his male teammates following behind him. He elbowed his way through the crowd, coming to a stop when he was right beside Charlotte.

"Stop bothering my girlfriend," he growled out, one arm shooting out to clamp protectively around Charlotte's shoulders. The man who had just been talking to her frowned at him.

"Back off nerd," he sneered. "A girl like this ain't with a guy like you."

"Wanna bet?" Charlotte spoke before he could, curling herself into his side. "I happen to like my men smart and sexy, thank you. Not stupid and a jerk, like you."

Spencer felt his heart swell at her words. "You heard the lady," he nodded. "Go away."

The man backed away, shrugging. "Fine. Stupid slut ain't worth my time, anyways."

Suddenly everything went red. Stupid slut? STUPID SLUT? Spencer felt his blood boil. No one called his girl that and got away with it. All logic and reason went out the window, and Spencer did what any man defending his woman would do.

He swung a wide haymaker right at that idiot's jaw.

After that, it was really all a blur. Before the other guy could even throw a retaliation punch, Emily and JJ had taken him down. Charlotte had pulled him out of the dance floor and taken him into the alley outside. His hand was bruised and aching, and he was still seeing red.

"How dare he call you that!" he shouted once they were alone outside. "How dare he! You are not some stupid slut!"

"Spencer calm down," Charlotte begged. "He's not worth it. I'm not worth it. You could have been seriously hurt!"

Spencer froze. "You're not worth it? Did you seriously just say you're not worth it?" He grabbed her arms, forcing her up against the alley walls. "Don't you ever say that again! You are worth everything, do you hear me? Everything!"

And then he was kissing her like he'd never kissed her before. His mouth crushed hers forcefully, his hands leaving her arms to grab at her hips. She responded in kind, her hands gripping his hair as she pushed herself as close to him as she could get. He let out a low groan, his hips instinctively rolling against hers. She mewed loudly, making his blood boil with lust.

Itching to feel skin, he moved one hand to slide underneath the back of her tank top. Her nails scraped against his scalp, her lips tearing from his as she pressed frantic kisses along his jawline. His eyes slid closed, his other hand moving from her hip to her thigh, brushing the edge of her shorts temptingly. A nip of her teeth at his pulse point sent a lightening bolt of desire straight south.

Then just as quickly as they started, they stopped. Both breathing hard, eyes dark with desire, they simply stared at each other, their grips never loosening. Spencer found his voice first.

"Be my girlfriend," he breathed, the hand on her thigh squeezing gently. "Make what I said in there true. Please, be my girlfriend."

Charlotte's face lit up in the most beautiful smile he'd seen yet. She let out a happy laugh, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

"Of course," she sighed happily. "Oh Spencer, of course. All I wanted since I met you was to be yours."

He kissed her again out of sheer delight. He'd done it. This beautiful, amazing creature was his, all his. Her laugh, her smile, her kisses, all his. After all he'd been through, he'd never expected to want this again. And even if he did, he never thought he'd get it.

Charlotte broke away from their kiss, a wicked grin spreading across her face. It sent another bolt of lightening rocketing through him.

"An alleyway is hardly the place to celebrate the beginning of a new relationship, don't you think Dr Reid?"

Spencer felt a smile crossing his own face. "I do believe you are right, Miss Devereaux." He leaned down to whisper lowly into her ear.

"My place or yours?"

_**I feel like things are gonna get heated….LOL!**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Thank you all for the sweet reviews! And thank you to those who read but don't review, I still love you! This chapter is both in Charlotte's and Spencer's POV. Some mild stuff, and mentions of smut, but nothing at all graphic. Enjoy!**_

Charlotte had never left a bar so fast in her life. The two of them dashed quickly back inside, pausing only very briefly to mutter a quick goodbye to their confused friends before tearing out the front door. Charlotte didn't even want to know what kind of picture they portrayed. Her shorts had ridden up and her hair was mussed and she was pretty sure her lip gloss was not on her lips anymore. She chanced a glance at Spencer as they ran, giggling softly to herself at his own mussed hair and slightly askew sweater. She could faintly make out residue of her lip gloss smeared along his jawline, making her giggle turn into a soft sigh of longing.

They flung themselves into her car, her tires squealing as she practically peeled out of the parking lot. The drive was excruciating; Spencer kept his hand on her thigh the whole time and the tension and desire between them was so palpable she could practically taste it. For the love of all things good, she thought, I am not going to make it. I'm going to have to pull over and climb him like a tree in the passenger seat.

But she did make it, and 5 minutes later they were pulling into her parking spot. Spencer nearly knocked the poor bellman over in his attempt to practically drag her up the stairs. After a quick fumble with her keys, they were finally inside.

She didn't even have time to breathe before he slammed her up against the door and fused his mouth to hers. She let out a whimper, her hands grabbing at him and pulling him as close as she could. His hands resumed their positions they'd been in at the bar; one on her thigh, the other up the back of her shirt. Charlotte felt her knees getting weak, his hands were burning her bare skin and it felt so good.

Desperate to feel skin herself, she tore her hands from his shoulders and eagerly slid them up the front of his shirt. She felt his breath hitch against her mouth as her hands explored the warm expanse of his lean chest. He let out a soft groan as she let her nails rake gently over his pecs. Okay, this was not enough. That shirt needed to come off. Now.

It seemed Spencer had the same idea, because he was already shrugging out of his cardigan as she moved her hands out to reach for his buttons. He tried to help her but she batted his hands away, earning a soft chuckle from him as she worked furiously. Finally she got them undone, and pushed the shirt of his shoulders. The sight of his bare chest made her ache with desire to feel her own skin against his. Without even thinking, she reached down and tugged of her own shirt.

Spencer suddenly froze. He simply stared at her, eyes wide and mouth open slightly. She frowned. Had she read something wrong and gone too fast?

"Spencer?" she spoke the first words since leaving the bar. "Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

Spencer blinked, seeming to come out of whatever thought he was buried in. He smiled shyly at her, hands reaching out to gently hold her waist.

"No sweetheart, nothing is wrong," he said softly. "I'm just stunned by how beautiful you are, that's all."

Charlotte blushed. "I'm not that pretty," she mumbled. "This isn't even my good bra, and I really could stand to lose a few pounds, and my-"

"Hey," Spencer shushed her, "stop being so hard on yourself. You are beautiful, Charlotte. You make my heart race, my mouth dry, and, as Emily so nicely puts it, slash my IQ in half with one look. Besides," he bit his lip. "if anyone should be worried about their looks, it's me."

"What?" Charlotte frowned. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, look at me," Spencer sighed. "I'm skinny and awkward looking, my hair never behaves, my lips are at least 5% thinner than the average male's, I speak in statistics, I wear sweaters designed for old men… Not many women have found that attractive."

Charlotte smiled softly at him. "But I do," she reached up to stroke his cheek. "You're not too skinny, your body is just the right amount of lean. You don't look awkward, not one bit. Your hair, lips, eyes, I love them all. It's cute how you speak in statistics, and I love how you dress. It's so you. You make my knees weak."

She watched as a smile slowly spread across Spencer's face. "You really find me that attractive?"

Charlotte couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, Spencer. If I didn't I wouldn't be standing here half naked."

Spencer's eyes raked over her, sending a shiver of pleasure down her spine. "Right, you are halfway unclothed…."

Charlotte stepped right up into him, feeling the bare skin of her belly pressed against his. His eyes bore down into hers, all traces of former insecurity replaced pure, uninhibited desire. She felt her heart skip a beat. "Well," she breathed out, "is there anything you're going to do about that, Doctor?"

Spencer's eyes grew even darker. "I am going to take you to bed, Miss Deveraux. Doctor's orders."

If his brain could actually form a coherent thought, it would wonder why he wasn't scared about this. Why he wasn't worried he was going to be bad, or that he'd hurt her, or something else along those lines. But that Spencer wasn't here tonight. Tonight, there was only calm, confident Spencer. The Spencer that believed he was enough for Charlotte.

And it was so easy to believe, because everything he did seemed to please her. Wherever he put his hands or lips, she would writhe and mew and say his name over and over like some sort of sacred chant. He wanted to spend hours just exploring how many different sounds he could coax from her throat like this. Oh, and hours seeing if she could do the same thing. Because the feeling of her hands on his body was like white hot fire, wherever she touched it burned, made his eyes roll back and his brain shut down and everything else fade away. It was just the two of them when they touched each other. Just the two of them.

"I'm sorry if I'm bad," Charlotte whispered softly as their frantic hands began to slow down, their bodies beginning to cry for something more. "It's been a long time."

Spencer gazed down at this beautiful creature lying beneath him, her blue eyes staring up at him apologetically. He gently reached down to brush a stray hair from her face, a soft smile on his lips.

"It's been a long time for me too," he whispered softly, "but it's me and you, sweetheart. It won't be bad, it will be _perfect_."

And his crashed his lips down on to hers, their bodies finally fusing. As they moved together, Spencer could feel everything from the past year slowly draining away. All his pain, his sorrow, his tears. The nightmares, the bad memories, the feeling of loneliness and emptiness-gone. There was no room for them anymore. He was whole again now, whole and happy and free. Free of Maeve's ghost, of the what if's and the if only's surrounding her. She was finally where she belonged, at peace in the recesses of his mind, a memory that he would cherish but would never hurt him again. He had to make new memories now, and he was more than happy to do it.

His favorite new memory, he thought, was this one. The sight of her coming completely apart in his arms. He wanted to do it over and over and over again, until it was branded into him. He came apart himself not seconds later, the cry escaping from his throat one of both happiness and relief.

He rolled onto his side, pulling Charlotte with him. She cuddled against him, a contented little sigh escaping her lips. He wrapped both arms around her, a tired but blissful smile gracing his lips. Charlotte was the first to speak.

"Happy?" she asked softly, her face half buried in his chest, unable to see his face.

Spencer gently pressed a kiss to the top of her head, a tear slipping down his cheek as his smile grew even wider.

"Happy."

_**SO, did you like it?**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Thank you for all the beautiful reviews! So glad you guys liked that chapter! This one is a little different, I was a little tired when writing it and it may show lol. Plus I wanted more team antics lol. Enjoy!**_

Charlotte woke to the sound of birds singing outside her window, sunlight pouring in through the open blinds onto her face. She lay looking out into the sunshine, the beautiful day outside reflecting her very mood. The warmth of Spencer's body pressed against her, one arm slung heavily across her waist, plus the memories of last night made her feel practically giddy. Last night had been amazing. She'd seen a new side of Spencer, one that she most definitely liked. A confident, yet tender side that she was sure very few people had ever seen. Her heart swelled at the thought. Very carefully, she rolled over to face him.

He was fast asleep, snoring lightly. His hair was falling into his eyes, his mouth open slightly as he slept. She was pressed into him as tightly as was possible, as if he couldn't bear the thought of not having absolutely every inch of themselves touching. She smiled, reaching out to tenderly brush his unruly hair out of his eyes. She'd never felt so happy in her life. And there was only one possible explanation.

She was falling in love with Spencer Reid.

Carefully, as not to disturb him, she slipped quietly from his arms and out of the bed. Throwing on a pair of underwear and Spencer's shirt, she tiptoed out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen.

Falling in love. Damn, it had been a long time since she could say that. There had only ever been a few guys before Spencer, and only one of them she'd actually truly fallen in love with. It thrilled and scared her at the same time. Spencer was a wonderful man, there was no reason not to love him. But he'd been damaged, and he wasn't fully healed. Sure, they'd made great leaps and bounds together, but caring and loving were two very different things, and Charlotte wasn't sure if he was quite ready to love her yet.

But she wouldn't dwell on that. No, she would simply be happy he cared about her, enough to open the shell around him and let her in. For now, that would be good enough. Smiling to herself, she began to fix her and Spencer some breakfast.

She wasn't halfway through making pancakes when she heard him enter the kitchen. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of him, in only his boxers with his hair sticking up everywhere and a sleepy look in his eyes. Good grief, he was beautiful.

"Morning, sleepyhead," she greeted, heading over to the coffee machine she'd just turned on. "I just put the coffee on, should be ready in a minute or two."

Spencer nodded, shuffling over to where she was standing. He pulled her into his arms, tucking her gently against his chest. Charlotte smiled, happily snuggling into him.

"Woke up and you weren't there," he mumbled into her hair. "Bed was cold and lonely."

Charlotte giggled. "Sorry, I just wanted to get started on some breakfast."

"No breakfast," Spencer's lips began making their way down to her neck. "Back to bed."

Charlotte let out a breathy sigh. "Back to bed? Wow, this is a new side of you, Spencer. I like it."

Spencer pulled back, a sheepish look on his face. "I guess I'm just totally comfortable with you. No more awkwardness or shyness, not after last night."

The mention of last night made something warm curl in Charlotte's belly. "That sounds good to me." She looked up at Spencer coyly through her lashes. "Your other proposition sounds good too…"

Without another word, Spencer swept her up in his arms, causing her to let out a surprised squeak. She giggled as he practically ran to her bedroom, tossing her a tad unceremoniously on to the bed. The hungry look in his eyes made her whole body tremble. She reached out and pulled him on top of her, lips fusing as his hands worked the buttons on her shirt…

BRINGGGG!

"Ignore it," Spencer mumbled against her lips, his hands now slipping inside the shirt.

BRINNGGGG!

"Spencer I really should get that it might be important," Charlotte gasped, her own hands wandering down to his boxers.

BRINNNNNGG!

"Awww damn," Spencer rolled off of her and reached for her phone. "Hi this is Charlotte's phone, she can't answer right now she's really busy and I suggest you- oh, hi Garcia."

Charlotte's clapped a hand over her mouth, both horrified and amused at the same time. Garcia was perceptive. Spencer answering her phone at 10 am after they rushed so unceremoniously from the bar would only mean one thing to her.

"YOU GUYS TOTALLY DID IT!"

Charlotte jumped. Spencer had apparently accidentally hit the speaker button and Garcia's voice boomed through the room like a boat horn.

"Garcia! Please don't-"

"Oh my stars, you two left last night to do it! Oh, Garcia is so proud of her babies! Okay, horny as you still might be, I expect you at brunch in half hour pronto! Rossi's place, don't be late! And please, keep your hormones to yourself! Garcia out!"

The room went silent. Charlotte and Spencer stared at each other for a moment, then Charlotte burst out laughing while Spencer let out a loud groan.

"Oh no, we are never going to hear the end of it now," Spencer flopped back on to the bed. "That's it. Dig me a hole and let me stay there. Morgan is going to tease the shit out of me."

"Oh, don't worry about it," Charlotte giggled, flopping beside him. "We're adults, we're allowed to have sex. And people are bound to find out about it. For pete's sake, these are FBI profilers we're talking about. They'll be able to tell in one look anyways."

"You're probably right," Spencer sighed. "Alright fine, let's just get this over with."

"That's the spirit!" Charlotte cheered, leaning over to kiss him quickly. "Now, where are my clothes?"

45 minutes later they arrived at Rossi's, hand in hand. Charlotte looked over at Spencer, who was tugging at his collar nervously.

"Relax, babe," she whispered. "It's going to be just fine. Oh look, someone left the door open, come on."

She tugged him inside and into the kitchen, where they were greeted by 6 smiling faces.

"You're late," Garcia chided, wagging her finger at them. "And you totally smell like sex. Did you two even shower?"

"Probably showered together," Morgan snickered.

"No definitely no shower," Emily chimed in. "But it looks like they had a quickie in the car. See how Reid's hair is still messed up?"

"Oh, I've always wanted to know what its like to do it in a car like Charlotte's!" JJ grinned. "How is it?'

"More importantly, how is Spencer?" Garcia grinned.

"Don't answer that," Hotch and Rossi answered at the same time.

"No, please do," Emily winked.

"Okay, enough!" Spencer finally yelled. "Yeah, we had sex, okay? Big deal, lets get over it, move on! And no questions!"

"Aww, don't be embarrassed, pretty boy," Morgan laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. "We're happy for you. About time you got some. And with a good girl too," he winked at Charlotte, who rolled her eyes.

"So I guess that means you gotta pay up," Emily poked Morgan in the side. "I won, so hand it over."

"Hand what over?" Charlotte asked confusedly.

"They bet on when you guys would finally do it," JJ shrugged. "Emily was closest, so she wins."

"You bet on when we would have sex?!" Spencer's voice went all squeaky, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull.

"Totally Morgan's idea," Emily poked Morgan again. "100 bucks. Pay up."

"Morgan I'm going to kill you!" Spencer yelled, making a grab for Morgan, who laughed and ran out of the kitchen. Spencer followed, continuing to yell obscenities at the older agent as he went.

Charlotte couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh. "Oh, um wow. Um, not how I was expecting this morning to go."

"Mornings after never go as planned, sweet cheeks," Garcia threw an arm around her. "So, now that he's gone," she grinned wickedly, "tell me, what's our resident genius like in bed?"

_**Oh**_ _**team antics. I love team antics.**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Thank you all for your lovely reviews! I love you all so much! You are very faithful and I appreciate that. It deserves a mention today that this is my first beta'd chapter! Thank you to my lovely friend ReidsGirl for her feedback! Enjoy!**_

"You should get laid on a regular basis more often," Morgan grinned, watching Spencer rapidly circle locations on the map tacked to the glass presentation board. "Not only are you in a super good mood all the time, you also spout less statistics, come to conclusions even faster, and I've even noticed the Reid Effect has lessened."

Spencer rolled his eyes, circling another point on the map. "Shut up Morgan, I'm trying to work."

Morgan laughed, leaning against the conference room table. "Just pointing out the facts, Pretty Boy."

"Don't you have an ME to go see?" Spencer asked irritably, turning to face his friend. "This UNSUB isn't going to catch himself."

"I'm going, I'm going," Morgan put his hands up in defense. "Guess your super good mood doesn't apply to teasing."

Spencer rolled his eyes again, turning back to his map after he made sure Morgan had gone. He stared at it for a second, his brain slowly slipping away from the geographical profile and towards a certain brunette.

He missed her like crazy. For a whole month after they'd become official, it had been nothing but office paperwork and one short case one state over. They'd had plenty of time to spend together, and it had been wonderful. Lazy weekend mornings sleeping in and watching Dr Who in bed, trips to their favorite book store, late night walks in the city, and of course, learning each other's bodies. He just couldn't get enough of his beautiful Charlotte. One sultry look, one touch of her small hand on his thigh and he was all over her. It was something he wasn't used to, but thoroughly enjoyed. He was a new Spencer now, and sex with his wonderful girlfriend was something that new Spencer did on a regular basis. He couldn't help but turn a bit red when he thought just how regular.

But now they'd been separated for close to 4 days and it was really getting to him. He'd only had time to call her once, and even his texts had been few and far between. He sighed, running a hand through his unruly hair. He had to admit once Morgan left he'd come to a standstill on his mapwork. Maybe it was time to try to call Charlotte again. He'd work better anyways after he talked to her.

Sitting down on one of the uncomfortable conference room chairs, he pulled out his phone and dialed the all familiar number. It rang three times before she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi sweetheart," he smiled, using the pet name he had decided suited her, "how are you?"

"Oh, Spencer!" she sounded flustered, like she hadn't expected it to be him, even though she had call display. "Hi. Aren't you working?"

"Yes," Spencer gave his map on the wall a glare, "but I've come to a roadblock so I thought I'd call you. Is this a bad time?"

"Um, well, it might be," Charlotte let out a sigh, causing him to frown slightly. "I'm just- well I was- kind of in the middle of- oh shit…."

"Charlotte? Are you okay?" Spencer's frown deepened. "Is something wrong?" This was unlike her. She always answered his calls with a cheery voice, telling him how good it was to hear his voice. Something was definitely up.

"No, no nothing's wrong," she was sounding distracted again, "Well, I guess I don't know, I have to wait-" she was interrupted by what sounded like a loud timer going off in the background. "Shit. Shit shit SHIT. I have to go, Spencer."

"What? No, don't go," Spencer couldn't help the pleading in his voice. "Just tell me what's wrong, sweetheart. What was that noise?"

"I have to go, Spencer," her voice went so quiet and serious he nearly dropped the phone. "I just have to go. We'll talk when you get back."

And then she hung up. No customary "Bye, my handsome genius", she just hung up. Spencer sat for a moment, staring at his phone in shock. That was the weirdest phone call he'd ever had. Something was wrong. That was not his usual bubbly Charlotte. She would never, ever hang up on him like that. He felt fear begin to rise. What was going on back home? Was she sick? Did something happen to someone in her family? Had she….met someone else? The thought made him so sick he could feel bile rising in his thoruat. He shook his head quickly. No, he would not think of that. Most likely it was just her time of the month or something and she was in a weird mood. Yes, that had to be it.

"Spencer!" JJ's frantic voice cut him out of his thoughts. "We got another body, come on!"

Stuffing his phone back into his pocket, Spencer pushed all thoughts of Charlotte out of his mind. First they had to catch this UNSUB, then he'd figure out what all this meant.

2 DAYS LATER

He bolted out the jet doors as soon as he was allowed. He ignored Morgan's shout about paperwork, he'd do that tomorrow. Right now he had to get home to Charlotte. After their odd phone call, he'd texted her a few times, but she'd only responded with one word answers. He was really worried after that. Usually her texts were so long it took him 5 minutes to read each one. So he hurried off that jet as fast as he could.

Breaking probably about half a dozen traffic rules, he pulled into her apartment block lot in record time. Nodding to Gary the night security man (who always let him in, no questions asked), he darted up the stairs and straight to her apartment door. Knocking furiously, he waited, heart in his throat.

He was almost going to knock again when the door swung open. He stared at the figure in the doorway. This was not his Charlotte. His Charlotte would be smiling, pulling him in for a hug and a kiss, her eyes twinkling with delight. The woman in front of him was not smiling; her blue eyes red rimmed, tear tracks visible on her cheeks. She made no move towards him, simply stood there and looked at him.

"Hello Spencer," she finally said softly, her voice hoarse from crying. Spencer's heart gave a squeeze, his girl had been crying and it cut him to pieces.

"Hey," he replied, reaching out to take her hand. "Are you okay?"

Charlotte squeezed his hand, tugging him gently inside. "Come in Spencer, we'll talk in the living room."

He followed her obediently, confusion and sadness washing over him. They sat down on her couch, her hand still encased in his.

"So, can you tell me what's wrong?" Spencer prompted, his fingers twisting in hers. "Please, I know you've been crying, and that kills me. You weren't yourself when we talked while I was gone. Please tell me what's wrong."

Charlotte's blue eyes began to fill with tears. "Spencer," she said softly, her voice quavering. "Spencer….we can't do this anymore."

Spencer felt as if she'd just slapped him in the face. "W-what?"

"I said we can't do this anymore," she chocked back a sob, a few tears leaking out of her eyes. "We can't see each other anymore. We have to break up."

Spencer couldn't believe his ears. "Why?" he asked shakily, his heart filling with fear. "Why do we have to break up? Did you meet someone else? Did you?"

"No, there's no one else," Charlotte tore her hand from his. "We just can't see each other anymore, okay? Don't ask me to tell you why, I can't right now. Maybe one day, but not right now. You couldn't handle it right now."

"Did I do something wrong?" Spencer was nearly pleading, his own eyes beginning to fill with tears. "I can fix it, I can be better! Please Charlotte, please don't do this." Tears began to spill down his cheeks. "Please don't leave me, I can't do it a second time. Please, after Maeve… I can't do it again. I need you. Please!"

"Just leave Spencer," Charlotte was openly crying now. "Just please, leave."

Spencer tried to reach for her, but she shirked away from him, curling up in a ball on the other end of the couch. That final rejection tore him in two. He ran from the apartment, tearing down the stairs and out the doors blindly. He made it into his car before the tears began earnestly pouring.

His sweet, dear Charlotte didn't want him anymore. HE knew it had been too good to last. He knew he didn't deserve a second chance. First Maeve, and now Charlotte. Two women he loved, gone.

He let out a strangled cry of anguish. Of course, he loved Charlotte. He loved her so much, and now she was gone. She'd wormed her way into his heart, her sweet smile brightening up the dark places he'd created inside himself. She made him feel alive again, like life was worth living. She'd filled the hole that Maeve had left. And now, that hole was there again, gaping and raw and jagged.

Time didn't heal all wounds, people did.

They also ripped them open again.

Spencer cried even harder

_**I know, I know! I decided to intersperse the fluff with sadness…. Reviews are lovely, thank you!**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Well, last chapter certainly got some attention! I'm sorry if any of my lovely readers got upset, I have a direction for this story and it's not quite what you all are thinking. I hope you guys like this chapter, and that explains everything about why Charlotte did what she did. But don't worry, I'm a sucker for happy endings, so all is not lost! Thank you all again for your important feedback**_!

_**Own nothing CM related.**_

Charlotte didn't move from her fetal position for almost an hour. She cried until she could cry no more, her heart aching and empty. The look on Spencer's face wouldn't leave her mind. His sad eyes, swimming with tears, begging, pleading with her. She wanted to take it all back, to run after him and hold him and tell him she loved him so much she thought her heart might burst. But she couldn't. This was for the best, no matter how much it hurt.

She finally moved when she heard her phone ring. Almost in a daze, she reached for it, mildly confused to see JJ's face flashing across the screen.

"JJ?"

"You mind telling me why Spencer Reid showed up at my house 45 minutes ago, crying his eyes out?"

"Spencer's at your place?" Charlotte croaked out, her breath hitching at the mention of Spencer crying.

"Yes, and looking like he was wanting to use. He kept scratching at his arms," JJ replied, her voice not angry but worried. "We all know he went to see you after we landed. What happened?"

Charlotte felt the tears well up again. "Oh shit, I didn't even think about the using! I'm such a horrible person," she cried. "So horrible!"

"Alright, alright just calm down," JJ soothed. "He's passed out on the bed, no drugs. I checked myself. Now please tell me what's wrong."

Charlotte gulped, wiping hastily at her tears. She'd only planned on telling Hotch her reason, he would after all wonder why she would be quitting being Jack's nanny. She knew the rest of the team would have questions about that, and why she ended it with Spencer, but she was unsure if she wanted to tell them the truth. But this was the team, they were understanding. Perhaps telling at least one other person was a good idea.

"Well, we broke up," she sniffed quietly. "Or rather I broke up with him."

"What?" JJ practically shouted. "But why? You guys looked like you were doing so well! Are you pregnant or something? Did you meet someone else? If you did, Charlotte we like you, but you'd have a lot of angry people on your hands…"

"What? No, I'm not pregnant, and I did not meet anybody else," Charlotte sighed.

"Then what is it?"

Charlotte bit her lip. Well here goes nothing, she thought.

"JJ, I have cancer."

Her confession was met with stunned silence. She gave JJ a moment to process, twisting her hands nervously in her lap.

"You have cancer?" JJ's voice was soft when she finally spoke.

"Yes," Charlotte replied, her heart heavy. "I found out while you guys were gone. Leukaemia. I had it when I was younger, but it went into remission. A little while ago I started feeling crappy again, so I went and got some tests. It's back."

"Oh Charlotte," JJ sighed, "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I don't know," Charlotte rubbed her eyes, suddenly feeling very tired. "I've told Spencer and you guys almost everything else about me, but for some reason this is one thing I've never liked to share. And how could I tell Spencer now, after everything he went through this past year?"

"So you ended it with Spencer because you're sick," JJ said, understanding in her voice.

"Yes," Charlotte chocked back a sob. "It's much worse this time. The doctor said it will be a long uphill battle to beat it a second time. I don't want to put Spencer through that," her voice grew quiet. "I don't want him to see another of his girlfriends die."

"You're trying to protect him," JJ said softly, her voice full of sympathy.

"Yes," Charlotte whimpered. "But all I did was hurt him. I was just trying to save him pain but instead I caused it. He doesn't deserve to go through more death. Not after what happened with Maeve. He deserves life and love, from someone who can love him for a long time. Someone whole, not someone who could potentially die in the next 6 months to a year."

"Charlotte, you don't know that you're going to die. You are a strong girl, you can fight this. And even if you lose, I know Spencer would rather love you and lose you then get no chance at all," JJ said patiently.

Charlotte stopped whimpering at the word 'love'. "Do you think he loves me?"

"Of course he does," JJ reassured. "We can all see it. He looks at you like you are the only woman on the planet. He walks around all day with this silly grin on his face. You pulled him up out of the dark pit he was in after Maeve died. You showed him love when he thought he'd never get it again. He loves you, Charlotte. You just have to let him love you."

Charlotte let JJ's words settle. Had she caused more pain by letting him go? She thought she'd been saving him heartache, but maybe he was willing to take that heartache. Maybe JJ was right. Maybe Spencer would rather love her even with the possibility of death. The thought that she'd sent him away for no reason caused her tears to start up again.

"I'm so stupid," she cried, "Oh JJ, I should have just told him! Oh I'm so, so stupid!"

"You aren't stupid," JJ said kindly, "you're just scared. It's very understandable. But perhaps it would be better if you and Spencer were scared together."

"Yes," Charlotte nodded, a little hope filling her sad heart. "I love him so much JJ, I want to be together as long as we can, if he wants to."

"In sickness and in health, right," JJ chuckled softly, " I mean, it applies to dating too."

"Can, can I come over then," Charlotte asked timidly. "To you know, explain things to him when he wakes up."

"Of course," JJ replied. "I'm going to bed, but Will can let you in. Oh and Charlotte, just so you know, we are all here for you. Every one of us loves you, we will help you get through this."

Charlotte thanked JJ with even more tears, hanging up quickly and practically flying out the door. She wasn't even sure how she made it to JJ and Will's, one moment she was in the car and the next a strong, silent Will was letting her in their front door. He patted her reassuringly on the shoulder, pointing down the hall to the bedroom on the last left. She hurried down the hall, only slowing down when she reached the door to push it open.

Spencer was lying on the bed on his side, arms curled around himself protectively. As she quietly moved close she could see his face was still shining with tears, his mouth etched in a small, sad line as he slept. It nearly broke her heart. She bit back a sob as she gazed at him. She'd done this. Like an idiot she'd panicked and gone and made assumptions, instead of talking to her beloved Spencer. She'd made him cry and hurt him horribly, and that in turn ripped right into her very soul.

Carefully, as not to wake him, she gently pried his arms off himself, sliding her body slowly into the bed next to him. On instinct, his arms wrapped around her, his body curling around hers protectively, like always. She snuggled into his chest, gently pressing a kiss right over his heart. _Sleep well, my wonderful genius_, she thought as she listened to him breathe. _Sleep well, and in the morning I'll explain everything_._ Hopefully, you will understand, and you will forgive me. There's nothing more I want in this world than your love._

Because JJ was right.

In sickness, and in health.

_**Please review! I always love to hear what you guys are thinking!**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Threw you guys for a loop, didn't I? Glad you liked the last chapter, hope you like this one too! You are all wonderful, beautiful people!**_

Spencer woke early, his sleep troubled with nightmares involving brunettes and guns and heartache. He kept his eyes closed, unwilling to face the day. He felt a heavy presence against his chest, like all the weight of his sadness was settled right against his heart. He sniffed, feeling the tears from last night prick at his eyes. His Charlotte was gone. It was as harsh today as it had been last night. The scene of her flinching away from him flitted behind his eyelids. The heaviness on his chest grew stronger. And then suddenly, it moved.

His eyes flew open, and he nearly started in surprise.

Charlotte was curled practically on top of him, her hands grasping his shirt and her nose pressed against his chest. His arms were wrapped around her instinctively, holding her fiercely to him. By her breathing, he could tell that she was awake. He blinked in confusion. What on earth was going on?

"Charlotte?" he couldn't help but blurt out. "What's going on?"

Charlotte sat up quickly, obviously surprised by his being awake. She slid off of him, her cheeks flushing pink.

"Oh Spencer! I didn't know you were awake!" she stuttered, wringing her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself, I just had to-"

"What are you doing here?" Spencer interrupted her, sitting up as well. "I mean, after last night…." he trailed off, sadness creeping into his voice.

Charlotte looked at him for a long moment, then quite suddenly burst into tears.

"Oh Spencer, you have to forgive me!" she cried, her whole body trembling. "Please, forgive me! Last night was awful, horrible! I didn't mean any of it! I'm just so, so scared, and you deserve so much better, and I just wanted to spare you, but I didn't think...Oh Spencer!"

And she catapulted herself into his arms, almost knocking him backwards with the force. Spencer held her to him, letting her cry into his chest. A small spark of hope began to form in his heart. She said she didn't mean any of last night….did that mean she didn't want to leave him after all? Was it possible she still wanted him? But, then why tell him to leave in the first place? What was going on with her?

Gently, he pulled Charlotte away from his chest, sitting her onto his lap.

"Charlotte, please tell me what's going on," he said softly, his hands rubbing her arms gently. "Last night, you tell me you want to end things, and now I wake up to find you in bed with me, telling me you made a mistake. I'm so confused, Charlotte. Please, can you explain?"

Charlotte wiped at her eyes, nodding. She stared down at her lap, as if she was scared to look him in the eye.

"I am so sorry Spencer, for causing you pain," she said quietly, her voice quavering. "I only did what I did to protect you. I didn't want you to suffer again as you have in the past. I thought it was for your own good, you have to understand that."

Spencer's heart wrenched at the sight of her hunched figure, all bent in upon herself as if she was trying to protect herself. He rubbed her arms some more, silently encouraging her to continue.

"When I was 14," Charlotte continued to stare at her lap, "I got very sick. It was leukemia. I went though multiple rounds of chemotherapy and radiation before it finally went in to remission."

Spencer's jaw dropped. This he had not been expecting. Charlotte had fought cancer?

"You never told me this," he breathed, eyes wide with surprise.

"I never tell anyone," Charlotte sniffed. "It's just something I like to keep private. Don't ask me why."

Spencer nodded, well aware of the need to keep certain things private. "I understand. Go on, please."

"A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that I wasn't my normal self. I was getting tired easily, I was nauseated all the time, and my appetite was poor. So," she took a deep, shuddering breath, "I went to get some tests."

Spencer froze, her words paralyzing him. He felt fear begin to slowly creep into his veins. He had indeed noticed on some days she seemed a little under the weather, but he never thought anything of it. Bile rose in his throat. Tests only meant one thing. She couldn't be, it couldn't be….

"Charlotte," he whispered, unconsciously tightening his grip on her arms. "Charlotte, please don't tell me something showed up on those tests."

Charlotte finally raised her head, her blue eyes swimming with tears. She placed her small hands on his arms, her lips quivering as she looked up at him sadly.

"They came back positive," she chocked out, tears now starting to slide slowly down her cheeks. "It's back, Spencer. My cancer is back."

The words hit Spencer full force, like he had run straight into a brick wall. He felt empty, numb. Charlotte was sick. Charlotte had cancer. His sweet, perfect Charlotte, so full of life and love. He felt hot tears suddenly spring to the back of his eyes, and without another thought, pulled her fiercely into his arms.

She collapsed against him, sobs now coming in earnest. He held her tightly, as if the cancer would take her from him that minute. He buried his face in her hair, feeling a few of those hot tears slip out. Why? Why this? Why did life seem intent on taking his happiness away? He'd already lost Maeve to a gun, would he lose Charlotte now to a disease?

_That must be why she ended it_, he suddenly thought. _She wasn't trying to hurt me, she was trying to protect me. She didn't want me to suffer anymore loss_. His heart overflowed with love at the thought. Poor Charlotte, so scared but still thinking of others. He hugged her tighter, peppering her hair with kisses.

He held her until her sobs subsided, stroking and kissing her hair. She eventually pulled away from his chest, her face upturned to his pleadingly.

"I don't want you to suffer, Spencer," she whispered. "That's why I tried to end it. I didn't want you to hurt anymore if I died. You don't need that, not after what happened with Maeve." She wiped hastily at her eyes. "I wasn't trying to hurt you, I really wasn't. But I did, and I'm sorry."

Spencer took her face in his hands tenderly, thumbs brushing her cheeks to catch the missed tears. "It's okay, sweetheart," he soothed. "Its okay, I understand."

Charlotte leaned into his touch. "JJ called me to tell me you were here. She made me see reason, that what I did was wrong. She told me…"she trailed off, biting her lip.

"She told you what?" Spencer prompted gently.

"She," Charlotte sucked in a deep breath, "She told me you'd rather love me and lose me then not get the chance at all."

Spencer looked down into her blue eyes, his heartbeat racing. Love. He knew he loved Charlotte, he knew the moment she told him to get out. And of course JJ was right. The thought of losing Charlotte to cancer was unbearable, but the thought of never getting to love her at all was so strong it could tear him in two. He gave her a soft smile, leaning down so their foreheads were touching.

"She's right," he whispered, brushing his nose lovingly against hers. "I love you, Charlotte. I love you so much. Losing you to this, well there are no words that could describe my agony. But not getting to love you at all, not being there to kiss you and hold you and give you strength, the thought of that rips my very soul. We belong together, sweetheart. No matter what. We will get through this, to whatever end. You are mine, Charlotte Devereaux. You. Are. MINE."

And he kissed her, with more love and more passion than any other kiss he had ever given. She kissed back equally, mumbling, "I love you too, oh Spencer, I love you too," over and over again against his lips. They clung to each other, their tears mingling as they fell. Spencer couldn't help but feel a spark of hope run through him. Charlotte loved him. He was ready. Ready to face this with her, ready to love her and fight this with her right till the very end. Sure, he was scared shitless, but he needed to be strong. He could be strong. Charlotte loved and needed him.

And that thought made everything a little bit brighter.

_**I couldn't bear not having Spencer react like this to her news. Like I said, I'm a sucker for fluff! Reviews are love!**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Almost 100 reviews! You all are amazing! I'm going away for a week, so this is the last chapter for a bit. Hope you like it!**_

After telling Spencer, telling the team was going to be the second hardest, Charlotte thought to herself as she tidied up her apartment. She'd already called her parents and her brother, and although it had been tough, they'd all been through it before. Telling your new found best friends that you were sick was a big deal. _At least JJ already_ _knows,_ she thought as she straightened some shelves. _That's one less shocked person._

After her confession to Spencer this morning, he'd immediately called in sick to work. She'd been fortunate; it was a day when Jack was at his aunt's so she didn't have to work either. They'd snuck out of JJ and Will's and spent the day in her bed, holding each other and talking. It had been very relaxing and just what they both needed. Charlotte was overjoyed Spencer was so forgiving and willing to stand by her side. She knew she was the luckiest girl in the world to have such a sweet, loving, understanding man. It made her ashamed that she'd ever even entertained the idea that ending things was the right decision.

"Sweetheart, sit down," Spencer snuck up behind her, gently tugging at her waist. "You need to rest, the place looks fine."

"I'm not a complete invalid, Spencer," Charlotte swatted at his hands, rolling her eyes. "I can still do housework."

"You're just doing it because you're nervous," Spencer insisted, managing to tug her away from the shelves. He steered her to the couch. "Please, sit down."

Charlotte sighed, flopping onto the couch. "Its hard, telling people you love that you are sick. I hate the emotions that cross their faces. Sadness, anger, confusion, pity. You feel like you're personally causing them hurt."

"Its not you're fault though," Spencer reassured her, wrapping a tender arm around her shoulders. "And they hurt because they love you. The team is your family now, they love you just as much as I do. Well, almost as much. No one loves you as much as I do."

Charlotte couldn't help but smile. "Oh Spencer, I'm so lucky to have you." She leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek. "So lucky."

"I'm the lucky one," Spencer smiled back, taking her hands and squeezing them tight. "Now, just try to relax. Everyone will be here soon."

And he was right. In 20 minutes, Charlotte's small living room was filled with confused and concerned FBI agents.

"What's going on?" Rossi questioned after everyone had sat down. "Are you guys okay?"

"You sounded sad on the phone," Morgan noted. "What's up?"

Charlotte looked at Spencer, who nodded and gave her hands a reassuring squeeze.

"I asked you all here today, because I have something to tell all of you," she began. "This is very hard for me to say, so please bear with me."

"You aren't pregnant, are you?" Penelope blurted out, her eyes wide.

Charlotte couldn't help but give the tech girl a small smile. "No Pen, I'm not pregnant. I'm…" she trailed off, looking at all the expectant and worried faces in front of her. Her eyes landed on JJ, who gave her an encouraging nod. She sucked in a breath.

"I haven't been feeling well lately," she let out, gripping Spencer's hand like it was a life line. "I went to the doctor, had some tests. It turns out," she could feel tears welling up again in the back of her eyes, "guys, I'm sick."

The room was silent for a moment.

"Sick?" Emily repeated, her eyebrows furrowed. "You mean like, really sick?"

"Yes," Charlotte looked down at her and Spencer's entwined hands. "I have leukemia."

The room went quieter than quiet, the agents all staring at her in shock and disbelief. She focused on the warmth of Spencer next to her, silently willing herself not to cry. This was the part she hated.

"You can't be sick," Penelope finally said, her face a mask of horror. "You can't be!"

"I am," Charlotte sighed sadly. "I had leukemia when I was 14, it went into remission. Now, it's back, and worse than before. I just wanted all the people I love to know," she felt the tears began to leak out. "So there, now you know."

"Oh honey!" Penelope cried. "Oh Charlotte!"

And then Charlotte was engulfed in Penelope's arms, and she completely broke down. She cried into the tech queen's shoulder, barely hearing the words Pen was half sobbing into her ear. She continued to cry as she was passed along, from embrace to embrace. Emily stroked her hair. Derek hugged her so hard he might have cracked a rib. Rossi wiped at her tears with his handkerchief, and JJ told her how brave she was. Finally she ended up in front of Aaron, looking up at him through tear blurred eyes.

He looked at her for a moment, emotion flickering across his ever stoic face. And then he pulled her into the warmest, fiercest hug yet.

"You're so strong, Charlotte," he whispered in her ear. "So strong. You will get through this. You have Spencer. You have us. Everyone in this room loves you, and we will stand by you. Always."

Charlotte sniffed, overwhelmed with love and affection for all these wonderful people. How did she ever get so blessed?

"I thought when we first met, you said we'd leave the hugging to Jack," she tried to joke, pulling away from Aaron.

"Changed my mind," Aaron cracked a rare smile at her. "It's been known to happen."

Charlotte let out a strangled laugh, wiping at her face. "Thank you everybody, really. It means so much to have you all by my side while I go through this."

"It's not even a question, of course we'll be here for you," Derek said firmly.

"You're one of us," Emily added.

"Like I always say," Rossi nodded, "We are all just one big family. And you're in it, kid."

"You guys are amazing," Charlotte smiled, suddenly feeling very tired and overwhelmed. Being in a room of profilers, everyone noticed, and was soon hastening to say their goodbyes. Another round of hugs (including a tearful Pen promising to make her some get well cookies ASAP), and it was just her and Spencer again.

"What a draining day," she sighed, closing her eyes as she collapsed onto the couch. "That really takes a lot out of you…"

"Time for bed then," she felt Spencer move to stand in front of her. "Come on, sweetheart, you need your rest."

"Think I'll just stay here," Charlotte mumbled, already feeling the haze of sleep surrounding her.

"Oh no you don't," she heard Spencer say. "Come on, up you come."

Charlotte let Spencer haul her up from the couch and lead her to the bedroom. She hazily undressed and crawled under the covers, burrowing down immediately. She listened sleepily as Spencer undressed as well, smiling to herself when she felt him sink onto the bed beside her. She snuggled into him, feeling his strong arms incasing her in a cocoon of warmth.

"I'm a lucky girl," she mumbled, pressing a kiss to his chest. "I have a loving boyfriend, a supportive family, and the fiercest friends in the world. This cancer doesn't stand a chance."

She felt him chuckle, the laugh rumbling through his chest. "I dare say you are right, sweetheart."

"Read to me, Spencer? Please?" She had gotten used to falling asleep to him reading to her, a tradition they'd acquired over the month they'd been spending the nights together.

"Of course," Spencer pressed a kiss to her forehead, reaching across her to pick up the book on her bedside table. "Shall I continue with Pride and Prejudice?"

"Yes, please," Charlotte murmured. "I love you, Spencer."

"I love you too," Spencer replied. "Alright, now where was I…oh

yes, here we are…"

And so Charlotte drifted off to sleep, the sound of Spencer's voice in her ears and a smile on her face.

_**I'll try to update as soon as I get back! **_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Thank you all for your patience during this short hiatus! I had a lovely vacation but I am happy to be writing for you again! So please enjoy!**_

Spencer rubbed his eyes, yawning widely as he refilled his coffee cup. It had been another long night of comforting Charlotte, holding her hair back as she threw up. The chemo treatments were making her very nauseated, and it was worse at night. Not that he would ever complain, he was honoured and proud to be caring for Charlotte. When one was head over heels in love, sleepless nights meant nothing.

They were also sleepless because of the worry. He was riddled with it. All day, all night he worried. And about everything. If she was eating enough, if she was doing too much, if her treatments were actually doing anything. He got the feeling Charlotte found him overbearing at times, but she never said anything, just smiled and thanked him for taking such good care of her. He was lucky Hotch had managed to wrangle it so he stayed back with Garcia when the team went on cases. He was extremely grateful, because if anything happened to her while he was halfway across the country, he would never, ever forgive himself.

He took a sip of his coffee, letting out a quiet sigh. The team was on their way home from San Francisco, another brutal case solved. He was glad it was over, it had been draining even though he had stayed behind. Normally he would be looking forward to going home, curling up on the couch with Charlotte and watching Dr Who. But tonight was different. Tonight was the night he was meeting her family.

He was absolutely terrified. What would her parents and brother think of him? He had never had to meet a girlfriend's parents, let alone her brother too. He hoped they would think he was taking good care of her. Even if they didn't like him, he at least hoped they'd give him that.

"Reid?"

Spencer turned around to see Garcia standing there, a young man standing slightly behind her.

"Reid, there's someone here to see you," she smiled softly, nodding at the young man, who crossed the room in three strides, hand outstretched.

"Dr Reid, I'm Liam. Liam Devereaux."

Spencer froze, eyes wide. This was Charlotte's twin brother! He wasn't supposed to be meeting him till later! Why was he here?

"You must be wondering why I'm here," Liam said, shaking the hesitant hand Spencer extended to him. "Your tech girl said you were almost done for the day. Can we go for some coffee?"

Spencer quickly set down his cup, eyeing the man's large biceps with a nervous eye. "Uh sure. There's a good place a couple of blocks from here."

The walk there was awkward and silent. Liam walked two strides ahead of Spencer, his massive arms swinging. Spencer took the time to study him with a cautious eye. He was quite tall, around 6 foot 3 or so, and was built like a truck. Spencer couldn't spot one part of his body that wasn't pure muscle. His hair was a ruddy red color, cropped short and course. He looked nothing at all like Charlotte. Charlotte was soft, small, and all warmth and comfort. This guy looked like he could tear Spencer in half with his bare hands.

They settled at a table with their drinks, Spencer still feeling like a lamb being led to the slaughter. Liam took a long drink of his coffee, then fixed Spencer with a curious stare.

"Wanted to see you for myself before my parents meet you." He cocked an eyebrow. "Get a read on you, see what kind of guy you are."

Spencer gulped, his hand twitching around his cup. "Oh?"

"Just doing my big brother duty," Liam shrugged. "I am the big brother, if Charlotte didn't tell you."

"She did," Spencer answered quickly, his nerves practically singing. "You were born at 345 am on August 17th 1989, at St Bart's Memorial Hospital in New York City, New York. Charlotte was born at 352am, seven minutes later. Hence making you the older twin."

To his surprise, Liam let out a laugh. "She said you were good with facts. And that you remember everything."

"I have an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187," Spencer blurted out reflexively.

"But do you really love my baby sister, that's the question," Liam narrowed his eyes. "You're still around, which is a good sign, but I want to hear it from your mouth, not hers."

Spencer drew himself up, his confidence returning at the question of his love for Charlotte.

"I love your sister with every fiber of my being," he declared, glaring at the larger man defiantly. "She is everything to me, I would do anything for her. I'd die for her. If I could switch places with her right now, I would, just to know she would live. I intend to be there for her through everything, to hold her hand and support her and love her. I'm not going anywhere. Is that good enough for you?"

He finished his speech, chest heaving. Liam stared at him for a moment, then to his utter surprise, pulled him into the world's tightest bear hug.

"That's all I needed to hear man," he squeezed him so tight Spencer thought he heard ribs crack. "My baby sister is in good hands."

He let go, Spencer gulping air as the air whooshed back into his lungs**. **

"Sorry," Liam clapped Spencer on the shoulder as he gasped for air. "Just so thrilled you are actually the guy Charlotte painted you out to be. She tends to be, well, a little too generous at times when describing people."

"She is quite warm hearted," Spencer agreed, massaging his ribs.

"Always has been," Liam sighed almost wistfully. "What I wouldn't give to have her well again. You have no idea how hard it was to hear that something you thought was gone forever has returned."

"I can imagine," Spencer replied, thinking about his addiction to Dilaudid. "She's very optimistic though. She insists on doing everything she did before, and I think she gets annoyed with me when I, er, try to tell her to relax."

"That's Charlotte," Liam nodded. "Still trying to take care of others when she needs to be taken care of herself."

"I am doing my best," Spencer took a sip of his coffee, his nerves lessening slightly.

"That's all we can ask, man," Liam gave him a genuine smile. "You seem like a good guy, Spencer Reid, and it's obvious that you and my sister are crazy about each other. My parents are going to love you."

Spencer chocked on his coffee. "Shit! I still have to meet them, don't I?"

"No worries man," Liam laughed, pounding on the back. "If I like you, they most definitely will. You may have not been with Charlotte for very long, but you're here when it counts, so they'll consider you like family. So I guess I can say, welcome to the family, Dr Reid."

Spencer smiled. Maybe meeting the parents wouldn't be so bad after all.

_**You are all lovelies! Review please!**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Hello lovelies! Here's another chapter for you! It's kind of a filler, but I still hope you enjoy it! **_

_**Own nothing CM related.**_

Charlotte sat on her couch, giggling quietly at Spencer as he played gin with her dad and brother. She pulled her cocoon of blankets tighter around her. She was always cold now, thanks to the chemo. It made her cold, nauseated and tired. Not to mention thin and pale. She got lucky with the hair bit. She didn't lose all her hair, it simply thinned out a lot. Still, it was quite unsightly, so she wrapped the hair she had left up in a checkered bandana most days. Spencer still told her every day that she was beautiful. It made her roll her eyes, but she still appreciated his sweetness.

Damn, but was she lucky to have a man like Spencer Reid. He was nothing but caring, attentive and loving. He never complained once about getting up with her in the night to hold her hair back while she vomited, or running out to get her things, or anything else for that matter. He always smiled and told her she was worth it. It made her heart swell every time. She constantly sent a prayer up every day that she had fixed her stupid mistake of trying to let Spencer go. She didn't know what she'd do without him.

She let out another giggle as Spencer won yet another hand of cards. She had been terrified when she'd heard Liam had gone to Quantico to interrogate Spencer. Liam was really just a giant teddy bear, but he could come off as very menacing when he wanted to. And when it concerned Charlotte and the men she dated, he usually wanted to.

But he'd burst through the door only a few hours ago, dragging Spencer behind him and declaring Charlotte had done "a damn good job" this time. Her parents had taken to the shy genius immediately, both of them smothering him in giant hugs before peppering him with all sorts of questions about himself. Spencer had looked nervous and uncomfortable at first, but that had soon melted away and Charlotte was sure he was quite pleased with himself now. He'd won over her brother and her parents in one afternoon. Probably something Spencer was not used to doing.

"Well, that's enough for me," her father declared, throwing his cards down. "One can only lose at gin so many times."

"I'm sorry sir," Spencer looked apologetic. "I was sincerely trying not to win, but it's very hard when you're, er, so used to it"

"No worries young man," her father smiled. "And please, stop with the whole 'sir' thing. My name is Graeme."

"Uh, yes sir, I mean, Graeme," Spencer corrected himself, blushing slightly.

"Damn, must be nice to be such a genius," Liam sighed, leaning back in his chair. "And to be able to remember everything? That would so come in handy for my med school exams."

"You are smart enough, dear," Mrs Deveareux, or Joan, as she preferred, commented, not looking up from her knitting. "You just don't apply yourself to your best ability."

"Thanks Mom," Liam rolled his eyes.

"I still can't get over it," Graeme shook his head at Spencer. "I don't know how you live with that. You must never forget a case you work on."

"I don't," Spencer frowned. "And that can be horrible. But," he sent a soft smile towards Charlotte, "I remember all the good things, too."

Charlotte smiled back at him, feeling her heart flutter in her chest. Even if she didn't have a perfect memory, she could also never forget all the good things and times she shared with her wonderful Spencer.

"Tell us about when you first met our Charlotte," Joan's needles clacked as she spoke. "She has only said she met you through Aaron, her former boss. I want to hear more."

Charlotte flushed. "Mom, do we really need to talk about every little detail about our relationship?"

"It was April 12th, at exactly 145 pm. I was getting more coffee at the coffee maker," Spencer began speaking (to her surprise), his eyes having almost a far away look in them. "It wasn't a good day for me. I was lost in thought, when she spoke from somewhere around my left elbow. I was startled, until I saw her. Then I was stunned. I remember thinking I'd never seen such blue eyes in my life." He let out a wistful sigh. "She asked me where Hotch's office was. I directed her there, still stuttering and stumbling. She smelled like cinnamon. Even though I didn't want to admit it at the time, she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She still is."

Charlotte felt tears welling up in her eyes. Even though he never showed it to others, her Spencer had a way with words. He always knew exactly what to say to make her heart melt. She felt a rush of pure love run through her, and found herself wishing that her family wasn't here so she could kiss him senseless for his sweet words.

"Well, ew," Liam joked, breaking into her thoughts. "That was so sugary sweet I think my teeth rotted just listening to it."

"Shut up, young man, that was beautiful," Joan's eyes were wet like her daughter's. "Dr Reid, you are truly the perfect man for our little Charlotte. A blind man could see you love her more than anything." Graeme nodded his agreement.

"Thank you," Spencer blushed, ducking his head shyly. "I do."

Charlotte smiled widely, her heart happy. Her family loved her boyfriend! What more could a girl ask for?

She opened her mouth to add to the conversation, but instead became overwhelmed by a sudden fit of coughing. Immediately, everyone was at her side, worried expressions on their faces.

"Are you okay, honey?" Her mother asked anxiously, hand on her shoulder.

"It's another coughing fit," Spencer said worriedly, patting her back gently as she hacked. "She's been getting them the past few days, on and off."

"It's nothing," Charlotte chocked out between coughs, gripping Spencer's knee with one hand as she covered her mouth with the other. "Probably just dry in here, really I'm fine."

"I don't think you're fine," Liam spoke softly, his eyes wide as he stared at his twin. "Charlotte, look at your hand."

Charlotte managed to stop coughing, pulling her hand away from her mouth to look at it like her brother instructed. Her heart missed a beat.

It was covered in blood.

_**Please review and let me know what you think!**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Thanks for being so patient with me, my friends! It's been busy lately, writing has had to go on the backburner. I hope you enjoy this one, it's a little short but I like it.**_

"Interstitial lung disease. And you're sure?"

"Yes," the doctor looked down at his clipboard. "It's often caused by chemotherapy drugs. It's fairly rare, but it can happen, particularly in patients with an extremely suppressed immune system, like Charlotte."

"I know what it is," Spencer said impatiently. "You can treat it though, with corticosteroids. You're going to give her those, aren't you?"

"Yes," the doctor nodded, looking up at Spencer. "We're giving her a mixed dose of prednisone and cyclosporine. It should help to slow the disease process greatly. But even if she overcomes this, her lungs will be scarred and she'll always have breathing problems."

Spencer let out a frustrated breath. "What about her cancer treatments? Will you switch to radiation?"

"We will try radiation, yes," the doctor sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "But she hasn't responded as well to that during her past bout with this leukemia. The chemo did much more for her, but obviously we can't go that route anymore." He clapped a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "We'll do all we can, son, I promise. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another patient to attend to. Goodnight."

Spencer watched the doctor walk away, a heavy feeling beginning to settle itself upon his shoulders. This was not good. Interstitial lung disease could be very crippling. Charlotte would always have breathing problems, and would most likely need bouts of oxygen therapy. She would never be able to be the same, active person she was. But that was, of course, if she made it through the cancer. Chemo was her best option, and that was no longer on the table. It made Spencer want to cry in anger and frustration. Why was this happening to them? Why his sweet, innocent, Charlotte? She could not catch a break, and it was tearing him to pieces.

"Spencer?"

Spencer hurried back into the hospital room at the sound of Charlotte's voice.

"Hey, sweetheart," he cooed, sinking down into the chair beside her bed and taking a hand in his. "You have a good nap?"

"It was alright," Charlotte blinked, her eyes most likely trying to adjust to the harsh fluorescence. "Where is everybody else?"

"They went to the cafeteria," Spencer rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. "To get some coffee."

"Oh," Charlotte reached up to tug at her oxygen nasal prongs. "I hate these things."

"They are for your own good," Spencer softly batted her hand away. "You would have trouble breathing without them."

"So I guess your guess of lung disease was right, eh?" Charlotte laughed feebly. "My genius, always gets things right. I should get you to predict this week's lottery numbers."

"Don't joke," Spencer shook his head at her. "Please, don't joke about this. It's not funny."

"I know it's not Spencer," Charlotte's smile dropped at the look on his face. "I just, need to make things light, you know? Gets me through it easier."

"But it's not light," Spencer could feel and hear his voice trembling. "This is serious. Your lungs will be badly scarred. You won't be able to breathe the same. And that's if you make it through the cancer. You can't have chemo anymore." His voice began to rise, his hand gripping hers like a vice. "They can only give you radiation, which you don't respond to as well! What if that's the end? What if that's what kills you? I can't live without you, I just can't! You can't leave me!"

And he burst into tears, the weight of everything he learned today finally crashing down on top of him. He put his head in his hands and sobbed, crying each and every tear for the life in front of him, the life that he couldn't live without but might have to.

"Oh no, baby, don't cry. Come here," Charlotte soothed, pushing herself into a sitting position and pulling Spencer's head onto her lap. He could feel her tiny hands stroking his hair gently as he wept into her legs. "Shush now, no more tears. It's all right baby, everything is going to be alright."

He cried himself empty, his tears soaking the blanket that lay across her lap. He stayed with his face pressed into her thighs long after he'd stopped, simply feeling her hands pass through his hair, and listening to her quiet words of comfort. Every so often she'd lean down and press a kiss to his head, soft and gentle. He felt almost ashamed of himself. Here he was, her supposed "rock" and he was the one sobbing uncontrollably and needing comfort. He sat up, wiping hastily at his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "That wasn't very strong of me."

"We don't have to be strong all the time, Spencer," Charlotte reached out to catch the last of his tears on her thumb. "It's okay to cry. It's okay to be scared. To be honest, I'm absolutely petrified. Not of dying really, I know what's waiting for me on the other side, but of not getting to experience a life with you. Not having the chance to wake up to your face every day, to go through life's ups and downs with you, to take your last name, to maybe even watching you play with our children one day." She let her hand fall, blushing slightly. "That is, if you want all that, of course."

Spencer had never really thought beyond getting Charlotte through her illness, but in that moment, he realized that of course he wanted to marry her someday. Of course he wanted to see her all alight and glowing, her belly round with his child. There was nothing he wanted more than to spend the rest of his existence on Earth with his Charlotte.

"Of course I want that, sweetheart," he smiled softly, leaning forward to kiss her softly on the lips. "When you get through this, one day when we are good and ready, we'll get married and have as many babies as you want. I love you," he cradled her face in his hands, his eyes sweeping her sunken face lovingly. "No matter what happens, I'll always love you."

"Ditto," Charlotte whispered softly, her hands coming up to grip his wrists. "Come life or death."

Oh, but he hoped it would be life.

_**Reviews are love!**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Sorry these updates aren't more regular, between work and planning a wedding my ideas aren't coming to me as fast lol. This one is pure fluff, hope you enjoy it!**_

"I hate hospitals," Charlotte moaned, staring at the IV freshly poked into her arm. "And I especially hate being poked."

"Aww come on now sweetie," Penelope cooed, arranging the cold hospital food that sat in front of the disgruntled brunette. "You aren't eating as well, so the IV is for your nutrition. Can't have our favorite girl wasting away."

"Cancer's already doing that, Pen," Charlotte eyed the food with distaste.

"I told you to stop saying things like that," Penelope scolded, practically pushing the plastic fork into her hand. "The doctors say you're making good progress with your lungs, and your radiation isn't going horribly. Spencer hates it when you get down. We all do."

"I'm sorry," Charlotte sighed. "It's just, it's been a bad week. I'm usually not this grumpy."

"It's about your birthday, isn't it?" Pen patted her arm sympathetically. "It must be very hard to spend such a milestone birthday in the hospital."

"I'll be 25 years old on Friday and I'm stuck here," Charlotte pouted, spearing a piece of chicken rather violently. "When I pictured myself at this age, I certainly didn't see myself sick with cancer again."

"Of course you didn't, lovebug," Pen said. "Out of curiosity though, how did you picture yourself?"

"I always thought I'd be a writer, to be honest," Charlotte sighed, setting down her fork. "I'd be hard at work on my first major novel, in a small studio apartment in New York City. I'd be engaged to a wonderful man with a good paying job, and we'd be the proud parents of a little British bulldog."

"Sounds very picturesque," Penelope smiled. "But our lives rarely turn out as we picture them, do they."

"No, I guess they don't," Charlotte shrugged. "Look at me. I've never started a book, I've only had nannying jobs since I left college, and I'm stuck in a hospital in fricking Quantico, Virginia dying of leukemia and interstitial lung disease."

"Hey now!" Pen smacked her arm, her eyebrows knitted. "Besides the cancer part, your life is pretty good. Jack is an adorable child, and nannying isn't so bad. You have amazing friends who care about you, and an absolutely wonderful boyfriend who loves you more than anything. And if you want a British bulldog, just ask Spencer. He'd give you the moon if you wanted it."

Charlotte couldn't help but smile at her friend. Trust Pen to say just the thing to cheer her up. She was right. She had the team. She had Spence. She had loved her job. Event though she hadn't planned on it, she wouldn't change any of it for the world.

"Thanks Pen," she reached out and grabbed the blonde's hand. "I needed to hear that."

"No problem babycakes," Penelope squeezed Charlotte's hand. "Ooh! That reminds me, I got you something for your birthday."

"Aww, you didn't have to!" Charlotte took the small gift bag the tech queen handed her.

"Come on, girl! You're one of my best friends, of course I had to get you a birthday present," Penelope clapped her hands. "Open it, open it!"

Charlotte smiled, reaching into the bag and pulling out the contents. "Oh Pen, this is so cute!"

It was a framed picture of the entire team and their significant others at one of Rossi's monthly Italian dinners. They were all posing goofily for the camera. Charlotte rubbed her finger lovingly over the frame, the smiling faces looking up at her warming her heart.

"Thought you needed a bit more brightness in this room," Penelope smiled. "Nothing to cheer you up like a little team spirit."

"I love it," Charlotte set the picture on her bedside table. "Thanks, Pen."

"You're welcome," Penelope patted her arm. "But that's not it. There's one more thing. Close your eyes."

"Close my eyes?" Charlotte raised an eyebrow.

"Just do it," Penelope scolded.

Charlotte rolled her eyes but closed them. She heard some scuffling and shuffling, and a muffled curse. She frowned. "Pen?"

"One second, sweetie. Alright, open them!"

Charlotte opened her eyes, and gasped.

The whole team, plus Beth, Will, Jack and Henry were standing in her little room, smiles on their faces. Aaron had a cake balanced in one hand, and everyone was holding a present.

"Happy birthday Charlotte!" They all cried.

"We brought you a party!" Jack added gleefully, bouncing up and down.

"You guys!" Charlotte gasped, reaching for one of her many inhalers. She took a few deep puffs, letting her lungs settle. "You didn't have to!"

"Of course we did," Derek waved his hand. "Not every day our girl turns 25."

"It was all Spence's idea," JJ smiled, pushing the genius forward. "He though you could use a little cheering up."

Charlotte felt her heart swell with love as Spencer shuffled shyly towards her.

"Hope you like it, sweetheart," he leaned down to brush a kiss across her forehead. Charlotte closed her eyes at his touch, feeling a tear slip unbidden down her cheek. "I love you guys so much," she sniffed.

"Hey, no tears now," Aaron set the cake down. "This is a happy day. Who wants a piece of cake?"

As everyone crowded around the cake, Charlotte looked up at Spencer, who had remained by her side.

"Thank you baby," she smiled, reaching up to stroke his cheek. "I really needed this."

"It's nothing," Spencer blushed. "Oh, here, let me give you your present." He handed her a rolled up piece of paper. "Happy early birthday, sweetheart."

Charlotte took the paper, looking at Spencer curiously. She unrolled the paper, and her heart nearly stopped.

"Spencer," she breathed, her eyes filling with tears again. "You, you named a star after me?"

"You're my shining star," Spencer blushed deeper, a soft smile on his face. "And this way, even if," he paused, swallowing heavily, "even if you have to go, this way I can look up in the sky and see you, looking down at me. For the rest of my life."

The tears were now pouring down Charlotte's face. "Oh Spencer, baby, I love you so much."

"I love you too," Spencer pressed another kiss to her forehead. "Always and forever."

"Charlotte! Do you want some cake?" Jack's exuberant cry came from across the room.

Charlotte wiped her tears away, laughing at the little boy's enthusiasm. "That would be very lovely, thanks Jack." She lay back among the pillows, her star paper in one hand and Spencer's hand in the other, watching her family with loving eyes.

"Best birthday ever."

_**Thanks for reading! Review if you can please!**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**Hello dears! Here is another update for you! Now, please don't hate me after this chapter, and remember, I LOVE happy endings. Please keep that in mind as you read!**_

_**Own nothing CM related.**_

Spencer hummed softly to himself as he strolled down the corridor of the cancer wing, coffee in one hand and a bouquet of daises in the other. He was really getting tired of looking at the bland white walls. He didn't like hospitals, he never had. They reminded him too much of the bad moments of his childhood, when his mother would go off her medications and have to be taken to the emergency room by the police. The smell of antiseptic made him wrinkle his nose in disgust. He quickly took a sip of his coffee, letting its strong smell waft up and invade his nostrils instead.

He made the now very familiar turn down the left hall and slipped quietly into his new home Room 224. Charlotte was propped up amongst the pillows, eyebrows furrowed as she spoke quickly and quietly into her cell phone. She caught sight of him, and he face smoothed over, a smile forming on her lips.

"Alright Mom, no you guys don't need to come back, I'm doing great," she said into the phone. "Give my love to Dad and Liam. Bye!"

"Your mom worried they shouldn't have gone home?" Spencer asked, removing the dead flowers from her bedside vase and popping in the fresh ones.

"Of course she is, she's my mother," Charlotte put the phone away. "But I'm fine, there's no reason for them to miss work and school to be here. Besides, I call her every day." She reached for Spencer. "Hello, my wonderful genius."

"Hi sweetheart," Spencer smiled, leaning over to hug and kiss her quickly. "Is today a good day?"

"Today is a good day," Charlotte returned the smile. "Besides a minor nagging headache, I feel pretty good. Good enough to try to play chess with you, I think."

Spencer laughed, pulling the portable chess set out of his bag and setting it on the table. "You mean good enough to lose to me at chess."

"Yeah yeah, we all can't be geniuses with eidetic memories," Charlotte swatted at him playfully. "Stop rubbing it in."

"Sorry, habit," Spencer shrugged, setting up the chess board. He watched Charlotte out of the corner of his eye as he did so. She was now frowning slightly, rubbing at her temples. He sighed. Minor headache his ass.

"You know, they can give you pain medications," he commented, watching as he hands flew away from her head at lightening speed. "I think the fact you don't want them because of my previous, uh, issues, is ridiculous."

"I'm fine Spencer," Charlotte sighed impatiently. "I said, it's just a minor headache. It'll go away."

"I'm just saying-"

"Drop it Spencer."

"But-"

"I said drop it, please."

Spencer fell quiet, the tone of her voice indicating her was getting her mad, and he didn't want to do that. He finished setting up the chess board, making sure Charlotte was the white side. He always liked to let her go first.

"Alright, another game, another probable loss by me," Charlotte sat up further, leaning over to move her first pawn. "How many losses is this now?"

"134," Spencer answered automatically. "We played our first game on May 1st. It was 7 in the evening, you were drinking black oolong tea and I was drinking chamomile. You lost in a record setting 15 minutes. I'm pretty sure you kicked the chess board."

"Thank you, Mr. Brilliance," Charlotte rolled her eyes, grinning. "I simply asked for the number, not the whole nine yards."

"Again, habit," Spencer winked at her.

They played in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts and concentration. Spencer noticed Charlotte continued to rub at her head occasionally, but he made no comment. If she wanted to be stubborn, he'd let her be stubborn.

"For pete's sake, am I ever going to win one of these?" Charlotte whined after a while, looking dejectedly at her rapidly depleting pieces.

"I could always let you win," Spencer offered, moving his bishop to take her castle.

"No way," Charlotte shook her head. "I want to beat you fair and square- ow!"

She clutched at her head, pain flashing in her eyes. Spencer reached for her hand, worry in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, it was just a spasm," Charlotte closed her eyes. "It happens sometimes, it should be gone soon, oh ouch!"

Spencer reached for the call button. "Maybe I should call the nurse, I think you need- Charlotte? Charlotte!"

Right before his eyes, she suddenly slumped in the bed, her hands falling to her sides. To his horror, her eyes rolled back in her head, and she began to twitch erratically.

"She's having a seizure!" he yelled, recognizing the condition immediately. "Nurse! NURSE! HELP!"

He pressed the call button frantically, his horror growing as he watched his girlfriend flop on the bed like a fish out of water.

"Out of the way, please!" someone was suddenly pushing him aside. He stumbled towards the corner, watching wide eyed as two nurses began to hover over Charlotte.

"Pulse 130, blood pressure 110/65 and falling."

"Secure her head."

"We need Doctor Gable. BERNICE, PAGE DOCTOR GABLE!"

"Get some oxygen on her. 5 litres now!"

"She's slowing down… oh shit! Pulse declining rapidly, where's Doctor Gable?"

"We need to restart her IV!"

Spencer was frozen, unable to move as he watched them work around his now immobile girlfriend. He was vaguely aware of Dr Gable entering the room, hurrying over to his patient with concern on his face. Spencer tried to speak, tried to call out for Charlotte but he had no words.

"Excuse me sir, but you have to leave," there was suddenly a nurse in front of him, pushing him towards the door. "We need space, please wait outside."

"I need to be with her," he croaked out, finding his voice. "Please, I need to stay, she needs me-"

"Sir, please step outside. We need to stabilize her."

"No!" Spencer tried to push past her, all frozen limbs gone. "I need to be here!"

"Sir, you can't be in this room right now please, I'll call security-"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

"No! NO NO NO!" Spencer cried, tears beginning to blur his vision as he nearly pushed over the nurse. "LET ME BACK IN! PLEASE! CHARLOTTE! CHARLOTTE! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING! SHE CAN'T DIE! PLEASE! I NEED HER! I LOVE HER! PLEASE!"

Two large arms closed around him, physically dragging him from the room. He struggled helplessly against them, anguished sobs tearing from his throat. No. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't!

"CHARLOTTE!" he yelled, still trying to fight off the security guard. "CHARLOTTE!"

"Calm down son," the guard said gruffly, his grip never lessening. "Calm down."

But Spencer couldn't' calm down. Because that wasn't' just any beep he'd heart in there.

It was a flatline.

_**Like I said, please don't hate me, and remember I'm a sucker for happy endings! Reviews are appreciated!**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**So sorry to leave you with that last cliffhanger guys! But I do think you'll enjoy this chapter, even if it's a little weird!**_

Everything was white. Charlotte blinked a few times, trying to adjust her eyes to the brightness. She frowned, looking down at herself. She was still dressed in her hospital gown, but it was clear she was no longer in the hospital. She tried to remember what had happened, she'd had this horrible pain in her head, and then everything had gone black….

Her eyes widened. "Am I dead?" she said aloud, looking around her at the vast whiteness.

"Not yet," came a soft voice.

Charlotte nearly jumped three feet in the air. "Who's there?" she questioned, squinting into the white. "What's going on? Where I am?"

"You're in limbo," the soft voice replied. "You are neither fully alive nor are you fully dead. And as for me, well, I think you'll know pretty easily who I am."

And suddenly in front of her a woman materialized, a very pretty woman, with long brown hair and sharp green eyes. And Charlotte knew instantly who she was.

"Maeve."

"Yes," Maeve nodded, her lips forming into a wide smile. "It's very nice to meet you Charlotte, I've heard a lot about you."

"You're dead," Charlotte couldn't help but blurt. "This isn't happening, I must be dreaming. You're dead."

"That I am," Maeve replied. "But you are not. You're in surgery right now. You had a very bad seizure, caused by a tumor starting to form in your brain. The doctors are trying to remove it."

"Tumor in my brain?" Charlotte repeated. "Good grief, what else is going to happen to me?"

"Many a good thing, I hope," Maeve said kindly. "It isn't all bad right now, Charlotte. You have Spencer. He loves you very much you know."

Charlotte looked at the brunette in shock. "How do you know that?"

"He visits me every week," Maeve said, a far away look in her eyes. "He sits by my grave and he talks to me. It's very nice, I like to hear what he's up to. Since he met you, you are all he talks about."

Charlotte continued to stare at her in surprise. "I didn't know he went to your grave to talk."

"I think he didn't want you to think he was still hung up on me," Maeve shrugged. "It's silly notion of course, everyone with eyes can see he's completely over the moon for you.

"He's still loves you, too," Charlotte felt the sudden urge to reassure Maeve. "You've never truly left him."

"I know that," Maeve smiled sadly. "But I'm just a ghost now, something that was there and now is gone. You're the present, Charlotte."

"If I make it through the surgery," Charlotte couldn't help but frown.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," Maeve let out a chuckle. "You're surgery is done now, I think. You should be awake by the end of our conversation. Time passes differently in limbo."

"Okay so I survive surgery," Charlotte said, "what about my cancer?"

"Well that's why I'm here," Maeve gestured to herself. "I've come to tell you the news."

"And that news is?" Charlotte raised an eyebrow.

"You aren't going to die, Charlotte," Maeve smiled. "I'm here to tell you you're going to live."

Charlotte felt her heart skip a beat. "What?"

"You're going to live," Maeve said again, her eyes shining. "Spencer needs you, Charlotte. You dragged him out of his misery. You lit a fire in his heart when no one else could. That can't be taken away from him. You've got a lot more to show him about love and life and happiness. And I think he's got to show you a few things too."

"I'm- I'm going to live?" Charlotte felt her throat begin to choke up with emotion. "I get to stay with Spencer?"

"For a very long time," Maeve put a hand on her arm. "I'm glad it's you, Charlotte. If I can't have a life with Spencer, I'm glad it's you."

Charlotte was so overwhelmed she couldn't even speak. This seemed so surreal. Here was Spencer's dead former girlfriend, telling her she was going to live and get to be with Spencer. Yet, she believed it. She believed it with all her heart. There was something there that told her without a doubt, it was true.

Overcome, she threw her arms around Maeve, who immediately hugged her back. They hugged for a long time, two girls who loved the same boy, worlds apart yet one and the same. Finally, Maeve pulled away.

"I think if we'd met in life, we would have been great friends," Maeve smiled. "Take care of our Spencer, Charlotte. I'll be seeing you."

"I will, I promise," Charlotte wiped away a tear. "I'll make sure he never forgets you."

"Thank you," Maeve was starting to fade. "Now wake up Charlotte, life is calling. Wake up…."

And suddenly the whiteness was gone, and there was another brightness, this one much more familiar. Charlotte blinked, her eyes adjusting to the well-known fluorescence of the hospital. And then a face swam into focus, a face she loved so much it made her heart hurt. His brown eyes were shining at her with love and happiness and unshed tears. His lips were twisted into her favorite smile she loved so much. A warm hand came up to softly caress her cheek, and her body nearly sang in pure joy. And then his rich voice reached her ears, a sound she never wanted to go without again.

"Welcome back, sweetheart. Welcome back."

_**Review if you can, please!**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**Well, I've gone and took too long with an update again lol. Life is just so busy! Anyways, this chapter is a little corny and unrealistic, but then again, the last one was too, and it got a good response! So enjoy!**_

_**Ps- probably only two other three more chapters left.**_

_**I own nothing related to Criminal Minds**_

Happy didn't even begin to cover it. There were no words for what Spencer was feeling. Charlotte had made it through surgery. By some miracle, the doctors had been able to revive her from her flatline, then successfully remove her tumor. He'd paced the floor of her recovery room for what seemed like forever, waiting for her to wake up. The thought that she never would nearly killed him. But here she was, awake and alive and still fighting. It made his heart want to burst in joy.

"I was so scared," he told her for what must have been the umpteenth time. "I saw you lifeless, I heard the flatline. Your heart had stopped beating, and it felt like everything in my world was crashing down around me."

"I'm sorry," Charlotte croaked softly, still groggy from the surgery anesthetics. "That must have been awful."

"They pushed me out of the room," Spencer continued as if he hadn't heard her, his mind lost in the agony he'd endured. "I didn't know what they were doing with you. Then suddenly they were taking you away, and someone was talking about tumors on your brain, and surgery. I barely had time to be glad about the fact that you'd been revived. All I could think of was you not making it off the operating table."

"But I did," Charlotte reached weakly for his hand. "I did and I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

Spencer squeezed her hand, grateful for the living warmth her skin radiated. "There have been so many hurdles, sweetheart. So many trials. A brain tumor? What else is going to be thrown at us? How much longer do I have to watch you suffer, wishing and waiting for a damn miracle?"

He sighed, feeling the weight of all his sorrows pressing upon him. But Charlotte did not sigh with him, did not share his burden. Instead, she smiled a tired smile, her fingers curling around his.

"Don't ever doubt miracles, Spencer Reid," she chided him softly. "They come when you least expect them."

"But not when you most need them," Spencer muttered, his mind straying to Maeve.

"Not everything works out how we want it to," Charlotte admitted, a hint of sadness in her eyes. "For some reason, however painful, it was Maeve's time to go. Don't ever forget about her, okay? Promise?"

Spencer was a bit confused by this sudden plea, but he nodded and promised her. He wondered if he should tell her about his weekly graveside visits, how he spoke to Maeve even though he knew she couldn't' hear him, just to keep her memory alive.

"I think I would have liked her," Charlotte was now smiling with a sort of far off look in her eye. "I think we would have been good friends if we had met."

Spencer didn't really want to think about the two women he loved meeting, although he did have to agree that they would have gotten along well. It posed too many questions about where his heart would have ended up if Maeve had lived and he'd still met Charlotte. The thought of possibly having to choose between them made him feel ill.

"I agree," was all he said, pushing all uncomfortable thoughts out of his mind. Maeve was dead and Charlotte was not, there was no point in fantasizing about other scenarios.

"I feel so tired," Charlotte yawned, her voice become thick and sleepy. "Brain surgery really takes a lot out of a girl. How long was I out for?"

"Two days," Spencer replied, gently tucking her blankets in around her.

"Two days," Charlotte repeated, her eyes starting to close. "Wow, she was right, time does pass differently there."

Spencer raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What?"

"Never mind," she was almost asleep now. "I love you, Spencer. Kiss me goodnight, I promise to wake up again. In fact, I know I'll wake up again." She chuckled quietly to herself, as if she'd just told herself a very funny joke.

Spencer let out a soft laugh, leaning down to press his lips gently against hers. He was too emotionally drained to question her odd behavior. "I love you too, sweetheart. Rest now. I'll be here."

Her eyes closed, and her breathing slowed, and she was asleep. He sat watching her for a long time, his eyes on the easy rise and fall of her chest.

Did she really think they were going to get a miracle? She hadn't seemed sad, hadn't seemed defeated by this new bump in the road. In fact, she'd seemed almost sure, like she knew something he didn't. Maybe he was just overtired. His body ached for sleep, but he dared not close his eyes. He wanted to watch her every breath, make sure that each one was not her last. He'd been scared too many times.

"Dr Reid?"

Spencer turned around to hush the intruder, but found it was just Dr Gable. He nodded at him in greeting, and the older man beckoned him outside, away from the sleeping girl.

"She looks good for just having brain surgery, doesn't she?" Dr Gable remarked as soon as they had left the room.

Spencer nodded. "She does. Thank you sir, for everything. I can't thank you enough."

Dr Gable waved off his words with a hand. "Don't thank me, son. There was someone up there watching over that girl, the way everything went. She shouldn't be here right now. It's a damn miracle."

Spencer started at his words. "W-what?"

"A damn miracle I said," Dr Gable repeated, "I don't know if it was prayer or what, but someone somewhere wants that girl to live."

"But she may not, the cancer-"

"The cancer is my next point," Dr Gable interrupted. "We did some tests before she came back here, and, like I said, someone somewhere wants her to live."

That stopped Spencer in his tracks. He blinked, the good doctor's words sinking into his bones. He sucked in a deep breath, his heart suddenly picking up speed. His hands began to shake at his side. His tongue darted out to nervously wet his dry lips. He didn't dare hope, did he?

"Doctor," he breathed, barely able to hear himself over the pounding of his heart. "Doctor, those tests…"

And then it was as if he'd just jumped off a ledge, his heart freefalling and spiraling in a tangled mess of emotions he from that day forward would never, ever be able to put into words.

For Dr Gable's face had split into the biggest smile he'd ever seen.

And he knew.

_**Review if you can, my lovelies!**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Oh my goodness guys, I am so sorry! I went on vacation then work was busy and I haven't updated in forever! Please do forgive me. Here is a nice long chapter to make up for it.**_

_**Fair warning, this is the last chapter. There will be a short epilogue afterwards, but that is it. I am happy with where this story ended up, and I think its time to draw it to a close. So far, I have not planned a sequel.**_

_**I want to thank all you lovely folk for being so kind to me and for reading and reviewing this story loyally. It truly means a lot to me. My faithful reviewers who reviewed every chapter (you know who you are!), thank you for your continued feedback and support, it was dearly appreciated!**_

_**A special thank you is reserved, of course, for ReidsGirl, who is my wonderful beta and a wonderful friend. Thank you for all your encouragement and your input. This story would not be the same without you! Who knew I could make such a lovely friend half way around the world through a mutual love of Dr Reid and Criminal Minds? This one is for you, my dear! **_

_**Again, thank you all and enjoy!**_

"Spencer, baby, hurry up, we are going to be late!" Charlotte knocked on the bathroom door. "I do not want to be late for my own party!"

"I'm ready," Spencer opened the door, adjusting his sweater sleeves. "Calm down sweetheart, you're going to give yourself another breathing attack."

Charlotte rolled her eyes, but took a few ragged deep breaths just to please him. "Did you put the oxygen in the car?"

"Of course I did," Spencer placed a kiss on her forehead. "And your puffers, and your extra sweaters, and your wheelchair, just in case you get tired."

"Thank you," Charlotte smiled at him. "Now come on! Pen will kill us if we're late."

They hurried out the apartment and down the stairs to Spencer's car, him dutifully holding the door open for her as she climbed in. Leaning her head against the window, Charlotte let her thoughts drift through the past few months as Spencer drove.

They'd received the news right after her surgery; her cancer was going into remission. Spencer had cried for joy, kissing and hugging her over and over again until she'd had to tell him to stop because it was getting hard to breathe. Her friends had immediately come to visit, and her family had flown down without missing a beat. When she was strong enough, she'd gone through a few more rounds of radiation. The doctors had been surprised by her quick recovery from surgery. The word "miracle" was thrown around a lot. Every time she heard it Charlotte would just smile and think of a green eyed brunette smiling down at her from somewhere up in the clouds.

When she was able to return home, Spencer insisted that she officially move in with him, so they packed up her apartment and moved her into his. It had more room for all her things, as although her cancer was leaving her, her lung disease still remained. She needed oxygen tanks and other equipment to help her in her day to day life. It was rather annoying, but she took it all in stride, just focusing on the fact that she was alive.

Now today, 6 months after they received the news, they had the final test results in their hands. Charlotte had refused to open it, although she herself knew what the results were, she wanted the rest of her loved ones to know too, firsthand. So here they were, on their way to a party Pen was throwing her, to read the final verdict.

"We're here," Spencer's voice jogged her from her memories. "Looks like we're actually a little bit early. You want to breathe some oxygen for a little bit before we go in? Just to be sure you won't lose your breath in there?"

Charlotte turned to look at him, warmth spreading throughout her. He was always taking care of her. He'd taken care of her the moment she'd told him her diagnosis, and he was still doing it now. Never complaining, always patient and giving. It made her heart nearly burst with love. How many times had she thought of just how wonderful he really was? There was no guy quite like Spencer Reid. And he was all hers. She was suddenly overcome with the urge to prove it. They hadn't had proper sex since before she got sick, and suddenly that was very, very unacceptable.

"Nah, I'm good," she smiled coyly at him. "But we could always have a quickie in the backseat."

Spencer's eyes went wide. "Are you sure that's safe? We have not made love since before you got sick, it might be too much for you and your lungs, I wouldn't want-"

Charlotte cut him off by leaning over and pressing her lips to his in a hard kiss. "Spencer," she looked up at him under her lashes like she knew he loved. "I'm fine. I feel great. But it's been way too long and I don't want to wait another second. Now please, Dr Reid," she put her hand on his inner thigh, smirking at the groan rising in his throat, "throw me in the back seat and screw my brains out."

She didn't have to ask twice.

"You smell like sex," Pen greeted them at the door of Rossi's mansion 15 minutes later. "Gross guys, there are children here."

"Nice to see you too, Pen," Charlotte laughed, hugging her friend. "Where'd everybody?"

"In the living room," Pen replied. "Come on, we are all dying to know what the final result is!"

They made their way into the living room, where they were meant with more hello's and hugs. Everyone looked positively antsy, even Hotch.

"Charlotte tell us what's in your envelope!" Jack burst out as soon as he had hugged her. "We want to know! We want to know!"

"Give her a minute to get settled, Jack," Hotch scolded his son. "She looks like she could use a rest." His lips quirked up discreetly.

Charlotte blushed, settling herself down on a couch, Spencer on one side and Jack on the other. "I'm okay." She pulled the long brown envelope out of her purse. "Would you like to open it, Jack?"

The young boy's eyes went wide. "Can I? Can I really?"

"Sure," Charlotte smiled. "Besides Spencer, you are my most important man here."

"Oh, ouch," Derek put his hand over his heart. "That hurts, girlie."

"Oh, get over yourself Morgan." Emily punched his arm.

"Shush!" Jack cried. "I'm opening it!"

Charlotte felt Spencer's hand slide into hers as they watched Jack split open the envelope. She could feel the nervousness radiating off him. She even felt a little herself, despite what Maeve had told her. Reading her well as always, Spencer leaned over and put his lips to her ear.

"Whatever happens, I love you and I'll always be here for you," he whispered softly, causing her to squeeze his hand and blink back tears.

The room was silent as Jack pulled the papers out of the envelope, his brown eyes narrowed as he tried to read what was on the page. He squinted at it for a moment, before he looked up at his father.

"Daddy, what does complete remission mean?"

Hotch didn't get to answer, as the room had burst into whoops and cried of joy. Charlotte felt herself being swarmed by bodies and arms, but she couldn't distinguish anybody through the tears pouring down her face. She was cancer free. Maeve had been right, she was going to live. She was staying with her Spencer. She let out a sob of happiness, reaching out and hugging whoever she grabbed first.

Finally, after the hugs and whooping had subsided, she found herself facing her Spencer, his eyes shining with tears and his lips stretched into her favorite smile. He was radiating pure joy, and unable to contain herself any longer, she reached for him. To her surprise however, her stopped her, instead taking her hand in his and pulling her to her feet. She blinked at him in confusion.

"Spencer?"

"When I first met you, I was lost," he ignored her confused look and began to talk. "I was in a black hole I thought I would never escape. The hole made when Maeve left was jagged and bleeding and I didn't think it would ever heal. I was prepared to die alone, a bitter man." His eyes got dark.

"But then there was you," he smiled, the darkness leaving his eyes. "You came into my life so unexpectedly, and it scared me. But your light and warmth broke through every barrier I had put up, and before I knew it, all the walls were crashing down. You just, bulldozed through them and ground them into dust. And the hole was filled. An empty pit I thought would never go away was no longer there, all because of you."

Charlotte could feel fresh tears began to make their way down her face, but she kept quiet, eager to hear the rest of his little speech.

"When you told me you were sick, I felt that overwhelming blackness again," Spencer took her other hand, cradling them both in his gently. "The very thought of having you taken away from me was soul crushing. I couldn't imagine life without you. I love you so much, that a lifetime without you doesn't seem like a lifetime worth living. But now," he broke into another brilliant smile, "that's all in the past. You are here, you are well, and we are together. I get my lifetime with you. But, I'd like to change something, if that's alright with you."

Charlotte furrowed her brow again. "Spencer, what do you-oh!" She choked on her words, her breath completely leaving her. Her eyes wide, her heart racing, she watched him sink onto one knee in front of her.

"I love you, Charlotte," Spencer watched her with shining eyes, pulling a little black box out of his trouser pocket. "I love you, and I need you. I need you like I need to eat food, like I need to drink water, like I need to breateh air. I promised you when you got sick that I'd look after you and take care of you, will you let me do that for the rest of your life? Will you let me hold you, love you, and comfort you? You healed my heart, sweetheart, now let me cherish yours."

He popped open the ring box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring, but Charlotte barely glanced at it. She was too focused on her Spencer.

"Charlotte Autumn Devereaux," Spencer took her hand again. "Sweetheart, love, healer of my heart, will you marry me?"

Charlotte let out a happy laugh, tears once again blurring her vision. Her heart was beating like an 8 oh 8 drum, and there was nothing but pure joy singing through her body. She let her fingers interlace with Spencer's.

"Yes," she laughed, so happy she thought she might explode. "Yes, yes yes yes YES!"

Before she could blink, he'd slid the ring on her finger and swept her up into his arms. Their lips met in a crushing kiss, tears mingling together as they held each other. Charlotte barely registered the cheers and laughs of their friends around them, all she could see and hear and feel was her Spencer. Who would have thought they'd get to here? They'd been through so much, there had been so much doubt. But not anymore. She would get to spend the rest of her long life with Spencer as his wife. There was nothing she wanted more.

"I'm home," she mumbled against his lips when they finally stopped kissing. "You are my home, I'm home."

"And they all lived happily ever after!" Jack shouted exuberantly, barreling in between them to hug his beloved nanny.

Charlotte and Spencer shared a smile as their friends crowded around them to offer their congratulations.

Yes, they would most definitely live happily every after.

_**THE END**_

_**(until the epilogue lol)**_


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